Healthy Habit, Happy Soul

Posted by SweetMemento to Adult ADHD Life 9 months, 4 weeks ago | 0 Comments | Post a reply

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Habit ...it is one thing that I either don’t understand or understand all too well.  My habits often include saying things like, “if I just…why didn’t I…you probably should..!” because everyone knows I know everything, everywhere, about anything. Period. 
I know everything except where my keys are, why I came into this store, why cigarettes have to be cool (quit, for the second time), and why I feel like I can take care of everyone else except for myself.  Is it habit?

As I am learning more about ADD/ADHD, I am understanding that along the way I may have picked up different coping skills and almost all of them introduced terrible habits that for the life of me I couldn’t break.  I didn’t have the easiest childhood, and also like many others living with ADHD there are a few other comorbities in my life; separation anxiety, mania, substance abuse, mild depression, social phobias, codependency, multiple addictions, and did I mention anxiety.

Being a habitual habit breaker, I finally decided enough was really enough and quit everything.  I stopped buying cigarettes, I tossed out every drop of tequila, I deleted old numbers, stopped handing out my two sense, and admitted I didn’t know it all!  At first, I was on top of the world, but when I realized there would be no more drugs, drunks, or dudes to occupy my mind I had to think about the truth of who I am.  Who I was before the habits inhabited every aspect of my life.

I cried, and I cried and even though I am a devout Christian I was like God what are you trying to show me because I’m on the edge of wanting those habits back.  My ah-ha moment came more like a slow lingering “you won’t know until you find out” feeling.  So I read and studied, joined an anonymous group called CoDA, sought treatment for my love/sex/alcohol/cigarette addictions through workshops and a counselor.  However, there was something deeper, something spiritual that needed to be tapped into.

After a few prayers and deep breaths I decided to try guided meditation/inner child recovery. The meditation will take you through a journey back to yourself, mostly it will ask you to acknowledge your young self.  It may ask you to say words of encouragement and faith… I do daily devotional and prayer so my thought before going into this was questionable, not because I didn’t want to have faith but because of habit I had (used to) so much faith.  I didn’t realize that maybe God was giving me another answer to my question, just like He provided people who study mental health He provides those who study spiritual health.

So I relaxed and went on the journey…I was myself felt a few tears, I laughed…I hugged…I smiled…and after about five minutes I feel asleep.  Literally.  And, it was until I could hear myself snoring that I woke up (I still by the way refuse to believe I snore!)  For a first experience it was pretty soothing to say that least.  However, I will say be prepared to feel things you may not be ready to feel.  Know that there are deeper things/issues that may have lead you to the life you have now.  And, if you have ADD/ADHD and other mental health areas you live with there is nothing wrong with seeking help for health.

So…for the first experience I would encourage anyone to try it if anything you may have a great nap, and I know some of us addhd can use one of those. 

I am still a creature of habit, however I think I will try mindful/guided meditation and spiritual recovery again they may develop into a new coping skill.  For now, has anyone seen my keys?!?

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