The “other” me…

Posted by jennfam5 to Adult ADHD Life 3 months, 3 weeks ago | 0 Comments | Post a reply

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Well… I’ve been ADD since a young age. My folks always said I’d grow out of it, but here I am, 34, and still struggling with just the daily business of life. I’m taking a couple meds because ADD doesn’t just come by itself for me. I also have BPD, PTSD, and Depression. It’s a very interesting “roller coaster” that my brain takes me on. Days when I think things are going ok, others think I’m not “doing enough”. Not getting the group of “normal tasks” completed. I’m excited if I can make it thru the day and my kids are happy, dressed, and can say that they love me. My spouse thinks it’s a good day for me when the house is clean and orderly. Unfortunately… I can’t seem to get both done in the same day, so either I spend all day hanging with my kids, or I spend all day working as the maid and feeling bad for ignoring my kids. AHHHH! Anyways….

I love my life, my family, and my Lord. The rest of it… I could take it or leave it. Because of my “conditions” I feel like I can see things differently then most. Call me a DAYDREAMER if you will, but my life here on earth isn’t based on my income,house size,automobile, or anything that isn’t coming to Heaven when I leave. So… somedays… the house isn’t important to me. (which causes problems, because that means the bills don’t get paid) And somedays the clothes we wear aren’t important… so laundry piles up everywhere. Somedays I like to print out all the interesting stuff I find on the computer…which means we have papers ALL OVER the house! Do you see where this is going??

Heres the crazy part… on the days when I do clean the house…. it’s done perfectly. Everything gets a place and it looks GREAT! Then my kids and husband come and ruin everything I did!! Thus… I get mad, angry, and irritated at them. I can’t tell them enough that they need to help it seems. I wish there was a way for them to see things from my side of life. My husband says…“just keep cleaning and working, otherwise I get stuck doing it all…” SERIOUSLY??! Anyways…

So…to fix this situation…we have decided that I should work out side the house fulltime. My hubby thinks it’s good to force me away from my kids. He thinks the house will run better. Maybe he’s right. I can come home after a day of actually accomplishing something! But coming home to a TOTALLY MESSY house…. (which is what it is when I’m gone) isn’t good for me either.

Do I sound like a spoiled child here or what?? I am honestly NOT. I think it’s a bit OCD maybe. I LOVE THINGS IN ORDER.

Well… that’s all I got for today. This may actually help my crazy mind a bit. Sweet!

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