Things, they fall apart

Posted by SweetMemento to Adult ADHD Life 8 months, 1 week ago | 0 Comments | Post a reply

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I have lost four very dear people in the last two months…without searching for sympathy, I had a moment to think…

When things fall apart, do you sit dazed and confused wondering if you can make sense of what happened? Why you couldn’t control what you did not see coming? Do you hide your feelings away until they reveal themselves while you are standing in the middle of a grocery isle ranting about the price of cheese?

Do you even know if you are angry because sad is what you seem to keep telling yourself and your friends over and over whenever they have a moment to listen? Sad is what your eyes tell the world around you. And, you can’t…you just can’t anything and everything…because there is an overwhelming sense of loss keeping you still.

Or, Do you accept and begin to let go….do you stop and adjust? Open yourself up to the bigger picture?

Pray to your God with everything you’ve got to keep you protected… Feel every emotion, stop running from them? Look for healthy ways to cope? Do you learn to forgive? Do you know you will never be alone? Do you find the courage…And brace yourself for what happens next…

Slowly you share your experiences…you shift your perspective. You have no time for vulnerability, or worry of what others may think. You regain and refocus.  You live outloud. You realize that in those things that have fallen apart, much more are beginning to come together.  Finally, you know, you really know you are worth all of it. You are amazing. You are brave.

Every smile is creating your peace.  Every tear is watering that small small bead of hope that fear and resentment try to push further down. Even though you are afraid, you keep going.

And then you don’t know it until it hits, you are there in this moment, aware. You love yourself. You set new priorities, you develop more goals, you begin living with more purpose. You have gathered the pieces, and said “Here, I don’t need these anymore.”  You have accepted paradox, you can feel all your emotions and know things will be better…

In the smallest decisions you start to make, you define resilience, you can do this. You just have to.  For the love you have created in you, for your family, and your community, and your faith. You have proof, sincere evidence that you have come this far, you are more than yesterday.

You bury yourself in affirmation until you start to really believe…in goodness. Life is a journey, you are navigating each day with God as your guide. Hope is your precious cargo, faith is your net. There is an end, but you will sail on joy to bring you there. You have so much to do.

Things they fall apart, but I know it is all getting better… I have so much to do.  I am, grateful to be here.

With Love
Sweets

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