Putting Together the Puzzle Pieces

Posted by ladysakura to Just Diagnosed With ADHD (Adults) on Oct 31, 2011 at 4:05am | 1 Comment

i am 25 yrs old still struggling with learning and academics. i cant even learn a simple program/project cuz i feel it is so hard. from k-12, my teachers have always suggested i needed to take a learning test for add/adhd possibly dyslexia. my parents refused saying they just wanted to put me in a special class when most of teachers just wanted me in a special class cuz they wanted to get rid of me.

college had trouble as well b4 i graduated and back in school. when it comes to motivation, i flip flop always done that since i was a kid. my parents never taught me anything about hard work and dedication cuz they never showed it either. my dad lied, stole, and threaten to get what he wanted his ex employer hated him for 25 yrs they got rid of him by retiring him in 07. my mom only worked a few times in her life that accumulated to 2 yrs of work experience and stopped working for too many excuses.

my teachers have said i am too slow to keep up with the material and ended up failing classes then having to redo all the assignments. it was so embarrassing! they always told me for years that i couldnt be quick on my feet cuz i would take too long to answer the question. i would cry all the time and be depressed cuz i couldnt be like the normal kids.

i struggled with jobs, worked at my 1st job at 19 as a bagger in college. stayed for 6 mos they lied about being flexible for students i was just thrown out there to work and go to school at the same time. got yelled at on the 1st day of work by a customer wanted to quit right there. my mom said thats always been my problem i said well, u never bothered to help me with it so i wouldnt keep doing it in my future life.

i said that when i was like 7 or 10 yrs old, she said its worse now as an adult i said blame urselves for not teaching me nothing growing up. my parents never helped us they said well we dont know just do it urself that was always the line they said. my mom doesnt know how to do crap for herself at all always depend on other ppl still does to this day and she wonders where i learnt it from?

i remember a teacher or counselor i was talking too were saying thats awful how your parents are, i was thinking ‘yay someone sees the light! didnt justify my parents actions someone has some kind of smarts!; my grades were average Cs, Ds, Fs. i hated asking teachers to help cuz they would end up screaming at me if i didnt understand or wasnt their star pupil.

i have a degree no certs still no job. as a matter of fact, still no jobs in this country. im not too worried as i am looking into self employment. i was practicing my web design stuff omg i still cant seem to get CSS when i practice anything it is a week and i am done. i bounce from one thing to another to another to another to another been doing that all my life. no, my parents never took me to get any kind of help my mom saying ‘black people dont need help from anyone, we can take care of our own problems. it is always white kids who are always at these mental health services when they should figure it out themselves. blacks dont waste their money on that shit, we just tell our kids suck it up and deal with it.’ i said thats part of the problem right there not telling them how to handle certain situations if ur gonna say oh well suck it up how is that helping anyone? i told my mom thats like telling a kid who is being bullied everyday to suck it up ur telling that child when he gets an adult to embrace mistreatment from other ppl thats the msg ur saying. she got super mad when i said that.

i do need to add more skills to my resume. every time i learn a certain material, everything i knew is gone within a matter of seconds. i was told i have a photographic memory well i keep losing everything i remember/learn. i told a teacher it doesnt stay in my long term memory yet nobody cant seem to give me a real answer to my problems.

i had a great memory i could memorize phone numbers and emails never had to use a pen and paper. when it came to studying, it was poor. at age 10, being degraded and treated like shit from ur parents made it worse. my mom told me ‘i could have smothered u when u were a baby and could have killed u too! i didnt have to be a mother to u i could just put u up for foster care in a heart beat!’ yes, she said that all of my life. she hasnt said it lately give it time until we get into a big fight about anything.

never once apologized my parents dont say i love u i cant recall a time when they did say it to me. sad, i never got great skills in school im talking about public school. teachers barely wanted to stay after school most of them hated kids very few cared about their students.

well, i cant afford anything right now to be tested. when i graduated from college and attending another one right now, they dont offer anything to test their students for learning issues i have asked already. i was told i have to pay for it myself wtf?!?! so they let students fail classes and ur wonder why they cant understand a simple subject.

i dont take prescriptions b4 anyone suggests that. i only do herbs for my health i am eco friendly so dont suggest that i need some pill to fix my problem sorry pills are not the answer bad enough ppl are popping pills like drug addicts! so, i do whats right for my own health. i have state insurance and no they dont cover anything u pretty much have to pay for everything out of pocket urself.

i am not asking about taking responsibility for myself. the only reason why i mentioned my parents is cuz they were the problem and should have done something with my learning academic issues in the past plus they are part of the story that leads up to my issues. thats all i am saying….

so, my question is what has anyone done for learning academics or just learning new things in general? what are steps or tips/tricks you have done to learn something? i just need some suggestions as i never got any from school or parents.i dont know what kind of stuff they give to ppl who have add/adhd.my ex college wasnt any help at all..