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ADHD in Connecticut

I just joined, live in West Hartford and interested in support group in this area. My 10 year old son has ADHD

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I feel fir you and have been in your shoes. Please read the explosive child. I think if you had a better understanding of why your son is this way you could find some compassion and empathy any and open the door to helping him rather than being frustrated. It worked for me. I was feeling just like you and after a few months of readjusting my thought process things are better. Not always great but better.

Posted by kimbader on Jan 22, 2014 at 6:20pm

My son acted like this last year, he is now 7 1/2. We realized he was having side effects from his ADHD medicine. Took him off everything, slowly started figuring out the right fit. He is now on Adderall immediate release takes one in the morning and one in the afternoon. This so far has been the best suitable ADHD medicine. I found all the others increased my sons mood swings, depression, and suppression of his appetiate. Please consider trying a new adhd medicine it just might be that instead of him as he doesn’t really know how to communicate what the current medicine is doing to him. Also, taking away his ipad and xbox will only make him more depressed and upset at the entire family. First figure out if it’s something he can’t control like the side effects from his medicine. I hope he finds help as I still feel bad that I didn’t realize until a few months after that my son was not being bad he was just having major side effects from his ADHD medicine. Now it’s been amazing!!! I wish you the same!

Posted by livingwith-adhd&add;-infamily on Jan 22, 2014 at 7:23pm

(2 answers above are from a different question last month.)  Do make yourself familiar with Hoagies gifted website - lots of resources there.  I’m guessing that should be your primary community, rather than ADHD (not that he doesn’t have that, too, but sometimes not - there’s plenty of misdiagnosis of ADHD in GT kids).
Advocate for a computer for him at school - try dry erase boards if writing on paper bothers him.  Do lots of research.  I’ve been homeschooling my 12 yr. old for 2 yrs. after our lovely small private school went to seed, my younger is at a charter school.  Consider a full psych eval with IQ test to get more info on what his needs are. Look for a pediatrician who is not prejudiced toward homeschooling - you should have clear support for either choice (don’t know where you are, but in Michigan there are homeschool co-ops and playgroups galore).  Good luck.

Posted by Katherine85 on Feb 27, 2014 at 4:32am

Mamabear,
Your post inspired me to send a note of encouragement.
Bear sounds like such a loving guy! What a trooper.Figuring out what school services are best for our kids is a daunting and ever changing task. There is a lot of info about obtaining a 504 plan for your son on the Wright’s Law website. Also, investigate your state and (new) school district’s special education website. I found that knowledge was the best weapon against being trapped in a fearful mode about what was possible for my son. It may seem overwhelming now but take it one step at a time, because it will take TIME. I would also add that, based on my experience, medication did not “kill off” the special qualities that make him who he is. Careful observation when trying new meds will quickly tell you if that particular drug is going to work for your son. We found the second med we tried was the best fit for our boy. Of course this was done with close monitoring and great communication with our pediatrician. Lastly, sometimes SPD and ADHD present similar symptoms and it can be hard to determine which behavior is caused by which disorder. ADHD medication will not relieve the sensory seeking behaviors that look like impulsivity or non-compliance. Katherine 85 has posted some great thoughts. Take care, good luck and keep investigating.

Posted by cowboy on Feb 27, 2014 at 4:37am

Hi Mamabear, You are starting out on a journey.  It may not be the one you envisioned.  There will be wonderful and frustrating times ahead.  You will learn a lot.  Things will change and you will learn more.  My son is 21.  He was on Straterra twice and didn’t like it.  He told us that the best decision we ever made for him was to put him in the gifted program.  Being around other very intelligent kids was so very helpful for him.  But we didn’t get him there until he was in 5th grade.  Shortly after that we had him tested for learning disabilities which he had some.  That helped with knowing what to put into the 504.  Common accommodations are sensory breaks when he needs them, extra time if needed, sitting close to the teacher, testing individually, or in a small group.  Think about what makes him function better and put those in.  The accommodations can be changed if needed, or added to if you find something else he needs.

If the public school can not provide what he needs, there is nothing wrong with providing it yourself.  Sometimes the wrong atmosphere can be more harmful than helpful.

Three books I recommend are:  5 Levels of Gifted: School Issues and Educational Options Paperback by Deborah Ruf,

Misdiagnosis and Dual Diagnoses of Gifted Children and Adults: ADHD, Bipolar, Ocd, Asperger’s, Depression, and Other Disorders Paperback by James T. Webb,

Bright Not Broken: Gifted Kids, ADHD, and Autism Hardcover by Diane M. Kennedy

You know your son the best.  Go with what you feel is right.  Hopefully you and your husband can come to agreement.  You can always change if something doesn’t work out with either public school or homeschooling.  You’re doing the right thing with trying to learn all you can about your son and how he feels, thinks and learns.  It can be overwhelming.  Sometimes you just have to be OK with not knowing.  Sometimes the decision is not clear.  Just take the next step.  If it’s in the wrong direction, change direction.  Love your son.  Encourage him whenever you can.  Stay healthy and keep your relationship with your husband strong.  I send you a big hug.  My last piece of advice is to enjoy the journey, good parts and frustrating parts.  It really does go by fast.

Posted by whizinc on Feb 27, 2014 at 10:42am

Feeling your confusion and frustration.  If things are too overwhelming dealing with the school district it may be best to home school next year and do play dates with your home school kids and/or join a support group in your area for adhd kids/gifted kids.  They will understand you and your son and give you encouragement and support.  Having a child like this is a big stain on a marriage.  Think of lowering the stress level for the entire family first whatever decision that may be, then try and focus on the next solution.  God Bless you, hand in there : )

Posted by NaturalMom on Feb 27, 2014 at 10:10pm

Hi I thought you were talking about my daughter when I read your post with the exception of my daughter is into sports . I have no great advice to give to you as I am going through the exact same thing as you and your daughter are. They are the same age, she was diagnosed in 3rd grade. She has been on most medications and nothing seems to work. She has been to behavior specialists and nothing is helping. Her attitude is awful, she is always mad , we can’t even have a normal conversation with her.
She has a 504 plan and in the next couple weeks she is being tested thru the school for LD. She is also failing 3 classes and it doesn’t seem to worry her. She hates studying, she does really bad on tests, she doesn’t turn in homework even if it is done, and if it is, her handwriting is so bad the teachers can barely read it.
She is just starting to get help at school during her study hall but I’m afraid it may be a little to late. We have had multiple meeting with her teachers but as much as they know about her situation they are not that accommodating. It’s all so frustrating.
My husband and daughter are the ones that butt heads and I end up being the mediator .Its put a strain on us because he gets so mad he gives in or he just is totally inconsistent. But I have to say at times I am too!
  I guess what I am trying to say if nothing else you are not alone. We are going thru the same thing. Hang in there!

Posted by Mom2Abbey on Mar 12, 2014 at 6:02am

Has anyone ever heard the “joke” about going to a doctor because you feel that no one paying attention? Doctor, did you hear me? Hello, Dr.?
Feels very real to me.
Is it my anxiety, or do I have to become visibly agitated to get some practitioners to provide more than an academic interest in getting help & assessment?
Despite asking, for help, I’m not encouraged. It sounds like this initial failure to diagnose is fairly common. I’m wondering how many cycles of giving up am I going to experience before I can break it- one way or the other?

Posted by noteinstein on Apr 25, 2014 at 10:47pm

There are a plethora of articles on ADDitudeMag.com. I’m going to copy in a few articles below that are a good starting point for you.

1. As far as diet and nutrition, you want to avoid artificial ingredients and add extra protein: http://www.additudemag.com/slideshow/62/ and http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/6552.html.
2. Discipline is tough with kids with ADHD. Most parents find that focusing on the positive is more successful than punishing the negative. There are some discipline and behavior strategies here: http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/10507.html and http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/771.html.
3. Kids with ADHD often seem like they aren’t listening when spoken to. I’ve found with my son that he often is listening but just doesn’t show the traditional signs of listening, like eye contact and answering. Experts often suggest gently placing your hand on the child’s shoulder when you speak to them. You can also ask him to repeat instructions back to you so you know he understands what to do.

4. Medication efficacy is different for each individual with ADHD. It’s best to talk with your child’s doctor about trying medication and defer to their expert advice. http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/8933.html

It takes time, and there’s a learning curve, but you will discover the best ways to help him.

Penny
ADDconnect Moderator, Author & Mom to Tween Boy with ADHD and LDs

Posted by adhdmomma on Jul 09, 2014 at 3:29pm

Brain training is online with Luminosity.
There are pop-up adverts for this on the ADDitude pages.
but it isn’t free.

Oops wrong post.

Posted by Bob from Cootamundra on Jul 22, 2014 at 4:22pm

Our son will often times come out of his room several times after we send him to bed, that is when we can finally get him in his room. He finds excuses to stay up longer and then he comes out about 5 times for water or the bathroom or he forgot something downstairs. We have caught on to it all. We don’t deny him the bathroom and an occasional drink of water but we have cut down all his coming outs for something.

Posted by DeborahP on Jul 26, 2014 at 6:54pm

Dirk,

I would also like to chat with other ADDers. It’s nice to have someone to talk to who can really relate to how your feeling, or what you’re going through at a particular time. I think sometimes people with similar conditions can help each other out by sharing ideas and suggestions of things that have helped them. I believe there is a way to chat with individual members of this site but I’m not sure how to do this as I’ve never done it before.

Posted by becca2322 on Aug 09, 2014 at 7:17am

The replies/comments before mine don’t apply to the original post Dirk made. Not sure why that happened.

Posted by becca2322 on Aug 09, 2014 at 7:19am

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The opinions expressed on ADDConnect are solely those of the user, who may or may not have medical training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of ADDConnect or ADDitude magazine. For more information, see our terms and conditions.