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Parents of ADHD Teens and Young Adults

14 yr old Son

Looking for advise. My 14 yr old son has been on most of the ADHD meds and they don’t help. He has put on an aniexty med but the won’t help either. His therphist had him tested for major vitimin deficiency and he has a couple major ones. Now he’s on a bunch of vitimins.  Now he was suspended from school yetersday for starting what the school called a racist incident. Yes he said something he shouldn’t have but the kid doesn’t have racist bone in his body or get what he said was wrong.  He also has major issues with not behaving the way other kids do jumping around, repeating the same thing over and over, falling classes. But he is not will or able to move past this stage due the fear of failing. He is called stupid annoying etc and he has no friends that call him or invite him over after school. He does tutoring twice a week plus he goes to his oldest brother house after school for homework help and last night his brother agreed that the 14 old said was racist and he should have been punished plus also said something really hateful about peeople with ADHD in general and when I explained what he meant the 14th said that how he thinks of me and really shut down. Plus I found out this morning that since i don’t punish the 14 yr old for his bad grades then he not allowed to play with his 11,6,7 nephews that are in house or are they allowed to come over and spend the night or play. I’m at at the end of my rope and don’t where to turn. Thanks for listerning

Replies

“Yes he said something he shouldn’t have but…” It doesn’t matter if you think he’s not racist. He said something inappropriate. My son did that and I made him write a note of apology to the other kid’s parent.

Yes, the other kid instigated the incident. Doesn’t matter. My kid should not be saying things like that—don’t care about the other one.

“repeating the same thing over and over,” Is it possible you can give an example? This seems to go beyond ADHD.

“I found out this morning that since i don’t punish the 14 yr old for his bad grades then he not allowed to play with his 11,6,7 nephews…” I am going to assume that he enjoys playing with his family. You as a parent can also use this as a tool to encourage better behavior.

Will your school work with you at all? Can you sit down with the teacher and talk to them about your concerns? It could be that he is being bullied. It could be that he is depressed and lonely.

I would also encourage you to get some counseling—one who specifically works with ADHD kids. Ask your school if they have a list of specialists in your area.

It sounds like you have a lot on your plate and that you are trying to juggle everything. It’s so hard sometimes. Hope that any advice I give you works. Just know that there are others out there in the trenches like you and can understand a little of what you are going through.

Posted by chrisd on Mar 25, 2014 at 9:00pm

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