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Just Diagnosed With ADHD (Children)

7 yr old son, after evaluation, has thoughts of killing himself?!


I am new to this, and there is so much to read. Sorry in advance that this is long. I’m very upset but I would like to know if this is normal and ok!

Some background: I always felt like something was different about my son, and I was so frustrated and didn’t know how to help him. After reading an article written by someone with ADD, I started crying because it gave me hope to help my son. He is impulsive and compulsive, and his behavior stands out the most when he has to stand in line and wait his turn - he’s the one child that never stops moving and looks at everything and everyone except the teacher/coach/instructor. He is very sensitive, and has started having extended feelings of being a horrible kid whenever he didn’t control himself and ends up doing something he shouldn’t or hurts someone on accident, to the point of “wishing he was never born.” He tends to be pessimistic, but he has NEVER said he wanted to hurt himself, run away, or kill himself.

I took him to a general psychiatrist for evaluation. The evaluation was carried out by her assistant, who was not a psychiatrist. Maybe a student or resident, because her office informed me they use them. My son was in the room with the assistant for over two hours, while I myself filled out three pages of questions that included multiple times whether my child has said they wanted to kill himself. I answered NO on all accounts.

After coming out of the room, I asked my son how it went. He looked at me with hollow, fearful eyes, and all he said was, “Sometimes I think I want to kill myself.”

What a horrible, horrible thought for a child to face, for a parent to face, when it was never there before! I feel like it was these questions put that thought into his head. It was the assistant who was inexperienced and callous, and was not tactful and sensitive enough and led him wrongly. She even asked him how he would carry it out! He is 7!! Out of all he was asked in over 2 hours, that is all he focused on and remembered.

My thoughts and concern for my son is all over the place right. If someone can please give me some perspective, let me know if I’m doing the right thing, or if it was wrong, what I can do about it, I am really in need of it right now.

Thank you.
Sheree

Replies

I would find out the exact line of questioning used on your son.  It could be that such thoughts are a result of repeated questions… just as you faced the same repeated questions.

You know your son… Is it a risk?  You know so much more than the ‘professionals’.... 

Regardless of your answer, you are now forever vigilant.  I hope this was not ‘‘psychological assay by Lawyer… Done to all kids for risk management purposes.

Best to you

Posted by LakeLife on Nov 12, 2013 at 4:37am

Did they record this interview with your son? Get a copy! But I remember as early as age 8 wishing I were dead and considering running away a bit. I did try to think of ways that I could be killed, but wasn’t any good at true “ideation” until later in life….
That said, it does seem that this office you’ve visited is a bit hyper-aware of the suicide angle, as it were. Perhaps they’ve added this focus because something has happened to this office or someone the office knows? I’d definitely go to someone else!
Also, it could absolutely be true; sometimes (many times for me) it’s easier to tell strangers “real truths” than it is to tell parents. I felt an obligation to protect my mother from all of my perceived awfulness.
The good part of the bottom line? This person who interviewed your son made it clear to him that he needs to tell you if he’s feeling suicidal. That’s key. Just about any medication that may be prescribed to him in the future has some “suicidal thoughts” side effect. So, him being aware ahead of time that he can come to you with anything, it will help him to remain honest and open with you if/when he needs your help. God luck!

Posted by Utena42 on Nov 12, 2013 at 5:02am

I learn a lot of things about how my kids really feel from the therapist. She taught me to let them speak their peace, even if it was totally unreasonable because it showed how they were FEELING. My daughter once told the therapist my husband and I were going to build an alter to our ADHD son because we worship him and don’t care about her (I think she was 11 or 12 at the time). I wanted to put a stop to what she was saying, because it was absurd, but the therapist shushed me until me daughter was done—then explained to me this is how she FEELS, whether it was reality or not. That was a real lightbulb moment.

I tell that story to say, he may very well be confiding things in someone else he won’t let you see. Getting an evaluation was a logical step and you didn’t do anything wrong. Now you must explore his admission, see how much validity there may be to it, and get him some counseling.

Hang in there! Tough days do get better.

Penny
ADDconnect Moderator & Mom to Tween Boy with ADHD and LDs

Posted by adhdmomma on Nov 12, 2013 at 4:05pm

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