I’m sorry you’re struggling right now.  Lots of people have a hard time with the blues this time of year, and it may or may not be ADHD related.  This time of year can be tough for everyone, but our challenges may be exacerbated by the holidays. 

If you think it may be more than the holiday blues, it may be worth talking to your doctor or psych about.  We have an expression in the field that, “ADHD rarely travels alone.”  The great majority of those of us with ADHD have some other co-occuring condition as well: depression and anxiety are among the more common.

I’ve had several clients whose depression was identified and diagnosed after their ADHD was diagnosed and treated.  I’m not a psychologist, but it seems that one may mask the other, and may be more visible when our ADHD symptoms are controlled?  Not sure—again, outside of my area of expertise.  Just conjecture!

One thing I often work with my clients on is changing their thoughts around things like this.  Rumination (recurring, whirling negative thoughts that seem to take on a life of their own) can be a big problem for those of us with ADHD.  It may help to remember that, just because you think something, doesn’t make it a fact.

If you can challenge those negative thoughts (What proof do I have that I’m letting others down? for example), that is a good place to start.  If you can then find a positive statement to replace some of those negative thoughts, and make a conscious effort to do that, it can help a lot.  (When thoughts about being a financial burden on your boyfriend pop up, repeating a statement like “I am fortuante to have a partner who supports me while I’m changing my future” or something to that effect.) 

I know it sounds a bit “out there,” but it can make a HUGE difference in your perspective on things and your frame of mind.

I hope that helps a little.  You’re definitely not alone!

Lynne Edris, ACG
Life & ADD Coach
http://www.CoachingADDvantages.com

I can understand the part about not being able to have enough money for gifts for Christmas. When my kids were a lot younger we could not afford gifts one Christmas so i did something i had learned about. You can make a homemade coupon book and in there you can put things you promise to do for people or with people. They get a chance to pick whatever coupon they want, and if you have time you can do that thing with them. You have to remember that Christmas is not about gifts, it is about the baby Jesus. I also have recently been diagnosed with ADHD and i definitely know how it has affected my life. I also am on medication for it. I tried to go without it for awhile, but things got a whole lot worse when i could not remember a lot of things. My friends and family got concerned.I have looked up information about ADHD for a long time since my son has it, and over the years he had a lot of struggles.As far as being depressed around the holidays, a lot of people are. It could be associated with something that happened in your past around the holidays. As for money, money does not buy happiness. yes it helps, but it is not the answer.And by the way, you have not failed anyone. When my kids ask me what i want for a birthday or whatever, i just tell them, just don’t stop loving me and i will always be happy. Besides, gifts are materialistic things,and love in a family should be unconditional.as for the blues over the holidays, i have them every year now because my parents both died around thanksgiving and Christmas. It has nothing to do with you. Don’t worry about what people say about you or you think they say. It is not their place to judge, only God’s. Remember, no matter what you say or do in life, God loves you no matter what. You are not a failure! I have learned to love the sinner and hate the sin and you can do this also.

I can totally sympathize with having the “holiday blues”. A lot of people are affected by that this time of year. I love the advice that ADD_Coach_Lynne gave you, that is VERY wise counsel.

Perhaps find one thing to be thankful for every day. Even if it’s just a little thing, like beautiful music to listen to, or the smile on your boyfriend’s face. Every day, practice being grateful.

I’d also suggest reading this: Happier Day By Day: A Daily Guide For Fending Off Depression. It’s a very helpful resource on fighting depression with practical efforts.

You are definitely not alone~ I am right there with you! I wish I could crawl into bed and forget today ever happened.  A lot has been going on in our lives that may be contributing to these feelings - but as far as ADD goes, it’s not helping anything.  My daughter also has ADD and has been struggling lately.  I look at her and feel like I am looking in a mirror of my younger self.  I’m not sure where to turn or what to do to help her?

I guess we both need to take it day by day ....

Been there, didn’t like, but bought the t-shirt. Okay, so you didn’t mention what med you’re taking, but since you are no doubt taking meds that affect your brain chemistry, you need to be conscious that mood changes are part of the medication roulette you will go through. Some meds have the side effect of depression. If you suspect this, discuss with the doctor that prescribed this and change to something else. This part of it is a very individual thing, so be aware, and enlist the help of family & friends who really know you and can gauge your moods.
I was diagnosed 6 months ago, and I am now on my 4th drug. The differences can be subtle from a slow release to extended realease, or very noticable - extended release Ritalin makes my hands shake! Whatever you are on does not seem to be the right one, but please let your doctor know!