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ADHD SUCKS!!!! I hate having it!!!!!!!

OK, I need to vent to some people who will understand.

The last few weeks at work I’ve been getting more and more “late” for work. I have to be at work at 8:00 but my boss tends to get in around 8:20. She has kids too and understands that when you’re a mom, it’s nearly impossible to get out of the house on time every day. There are a couple of us that all get in around the same time and she really doesn’t mind at all.

I’ve recognized though, that over the past few weeks, I’ve always betting getting in later than her. I hate that because I really appreciate that she is so flexible with me so I don’t ever want her to think I’m taking advantage of it. So, I’ve been working with the kids and really working on keeping the mornings organized so that everything runs smoothly and we can get out of the house at a decent time.

I’ve organized my whole closet so I can find all my clothes for work quickly and easily. Last weekend I organized all my bathroom cabinets and cleaned out all my make-up and stuff so I’m not fumbling around in the morning to get ready. I’ve been helping the kids to keep their clothes put away so they can get dressed and find socks and all that without me having to intervene all morning and we can all stay on task.

This morning went FABULOUS! The kids were up and dressed, the dog was fed and went out, and the kids even had time to eat some breakfast in front of the TV. I finished getting ready and was ready to walk out of the house about 20 minutes earlier than usual. I thought I’d even stop and grab a coffee on the way to work.

Then, I couldn’t find my keys. I hang my purse on the chair and put my keys in my purse EVERY NIGHT like clockwork. I know I’ll lose them if I don’t. I checked my purse and couldn’t find them. I looked everywhere and after 20 minutes my husband even came home to help me look for them. I planned to give my son a ride to school, but he ended up walking since I was now late. Then, the sitter called because she had to leave to take the kids to school, so I told her I’d drop my daughter off (which is gonna add an extra 15 minutes because it takes FOREVER to get through the drive up late at the school).

I FOUND MY DAMN KEYS IN MY DAMN PURSE!!!! I swear I checked there 4 times and didn’t see them. I shook it and didn’t hear them. They evidently slipped into a side pocket and I missed them. So, now this morning I ended up being REALLY late for work. I called my boss and made up some stupid excuse about being stuck in the line at the pharmacy and she was awesome about it, but stupid ADHD really stinks!!!!  My husband is SOOOO mad because he came home to help me find them and they were in my purse. I know my son is stressed out at school because he’s probrably thinking I’m still looking for them.

I know it’s just part of ADHD and it’s part of who I am, but there are some days that are just plain lousy. It’s so frustrating because I take meds and I spend so much time and energy trying to keep those things from happening, but I guess that’s the nature of ADHD. No meds or treatment in the world will ever make it go away. All I can do is manage it the best I can.

I’m going to get on ebay to see if they have one of those car key locater things and see if I can order myself one. I just needed to vent and was feeling overwhelmed this morning. Thanks everyone for understanding. At least the day can only get better from here!!

Replies

Go ahead and vent!!  It helps us all to do that from time to time.  I too am also very frustrated with learning that I have ADD and how it has affected my past, how it affects my present, and how it will affect my future. I lost my job and family from it and hate having this disability. I am still in a learning phase and trying to develop the right habits for my future. Everybody has up and down days with or without disabilities, just remember that you are not alone.

Posted by newlife0818 on Feb 29, 2012 at 11:43pm

I have had this happen too and it tore me up just the same way.  I am beginning tom think this is more than a physical condition.  If you are interested, there is scientific study on how resonance and vibrational therapy can retrain the brain.  Go to Rikka Zimmerman, who is a teacher that uses vibrational ntherapy and http://www.manifesteverythingnow.com where they sell music with different resonances to help your brain. I truyly believe this will help those stupid unnecessary situations.

Posted by khalli on Feb 29, 2012 at 11:48pm

I have had inattentive ADD for approximately 20 years, and I still hate it!!

Posted by SpedTeacherWithADD on Feb 29, 2012 at 11:49pm

I’m with you girl!  If it makes you feel any better, I was supposed to be at a conference at 930 this morning.  It’s now 1045 and I still haven’t left because I kept doing Just One More Thing to include check my email and respond to your post. Do something really nice for your husband and let him know how much you appreciate him. REMIND him with the things that he does love about you then he will get over it. He loves you for many reasons but losing the keys isn’t one of them. I’m sure you are a lot more fun than any one else he knows and good or bad, it’s never a dull moment.

Posted by MyPersonalBusinessCoach on Feb 29, 2012 at 11:49pm

I SO feel you, girlfriend!  After being fired several times and leaving several other jobs just before getting fired, I was on point of suicide when I was diagnosed with ADD at age 40.
I immediately started meds (luckily, I’m a veteran and had access to the VA medical facilities when between jobs) and learning about ADD.
It’s a toss-up as to which helped most, the meds or the information, but today, 16 years later, I have held my current job for 11 years - even surviving 2 rounds of layoffs. 
I still take my meds EVERY DAY and am really anal about getting enough sleep, and I also still lose my keys, my cell phone, my earrings, my organizer, my pen, my umbrella, my new stockings, my way, that important form, the letter I need to mail, the phone number of that guy I have to call….
I also really enjoy the many many hobbies and interests I have. I taught myself to read, write and speak Yiddish, I love computers and am un-official tech support for my co-workers and my family. Before cars had so much high-tech equipment, I did my own mechanic work. I learned to groom my Standard Poodle as well as a professional. I cut, style and color my own hair. I’m a wiz with a soldering iron and a curling iron. I’m a pretty good amateur make-up artist and at 56, I can hula-hoop like nobody’s business!
Bottom line, life as an ADD-er is not easy, but it is possible and the ADD brain can do things that the so-called “normal” brain just can’t handle.
Hang in there, ellamae1975!  *hugs!*

Posted by GoGrrl55 on Mar 01, 2012 at 12:39am

I hung a hook next to the door for my keys because I was always loosing them in my purse,  I’m always able to find them now. 

Congrats on the organizing venture. 

I have a few other suggestions on how to make your mornings go smoother,  if you’re interested let me know.

Posted by njtheaterchick on Mar 01, 2012 at 1:42am

I keep my life very simple. I wake up lift weight,cardio and then a handful of vitamins. I get sufficient rest and burn soy candles to keep my spirit at peace.

Posted by happiness2011 on Mar 01, 2012 at 1:46am

Sounds like my daily routine and the more I try to get there earlier and to do it the right way the later I
end up being. I have noticed that the more I think about being late and trying to be on time the more anxious I become and it ends up building up until I am so anxious one simple small thing will delay me twice as long as usual. I totally understand and I hate it too! I sometimes wish the world lived on ADD time,lol Hang in there!

Posted by Awink32276 on Mar 01, 2012 at 3:47am

It is understandable that you would be upset after being ready and then not being able to locate the keys and be ahead of schedule.

It takes a lot of work, consistent effort to stay ahead of the ADHD symptoms and some days getting ahead is just plain hard.  It looks like you are developing some very supportive processes that help you and the family stay on track.  And while some days the best organization doesn’t seem to work it is still a step in the right direction.  Creating supportive habits and preparing the night before help with ADHD.  It takes time, it takes reminders and it takes believing that you can create new habits that do work for you.

There is no point in beating yourself up, or telling yourself that you aren’t good enough.  Everyday you are doing the best that you can and everyday is an opportunity to do just a little bit better. 

Focus on the outcomes you want, and prepare to achieve the results you desire.

Posted by coachwithheart on Mar 01, 2012 at 4:40am

In every room of the house I have a home base where I can put my phone, my glasses or whatever. If I take my glasses off they go to the home base or else it takes me hours to find them. I also have a landing pad by the front door so I can put things that I need when I leave the house. I still lose things and I will admit after 50 some years of fighting ADD it does still make me drop to my Knees and pray for help.

Posted by Rancher John on Mar 01, 2012 at 7:21am

hi im 50 now and have had add all my life but didnt know what it was until i was in my twentys, i dont lose keys and things like that, i have a kinda system tho sometimes it fails me, its my sister thats always losing her keys and she dosnt have add as bad as me, her son has been diagnosed, since i recently moved to this new flat which is great, the only problem for me is that i have to park my car around the back roads - this is fine until the next day, some days im convinced that i parked my car in a certain spot only to find it isnt there, then i panic wondering has it been stolen or is it just me, it is me of course, one day it took me 20 mins and walking up and down several roads to find it Arrrrrrr, consequently i was late for work, this happens at the supermarket also. so yes i completly understand, but it does help to know others with add the same, i just joined this site and its great to just connect with likewise people.

Posted by paulinep40@hotmail.co.uk on Mar 01, 2012 at 8:59am

Hi, I am 31 and found out I have ADD last year, I had been suspecting this for many years. I loose my keys, phone, when I was still smoking my cigarettes and my lighter, all the time. Also when I go anywhere I have to make a mental note of where I park my car by using landmarks or pillar colours, otherwise i can’t find my car. I have had so many jobs, some I got fired others i left before they could fire me, oh and i forget like I have a sieve for a brain, you could tell me something now and 5 minutes later I could have forgotten that you even spoke to me. Yesterday I had a horrible day at work, making me anxious that i am on the road to loosing my job again, and today I have to make a decision on how to prevent this. My parents know of ADD but accuse me of using it as an excuse and my brother says he has overcome his ADHD I should be able to do that too, but he has just figured out how to bypass it and I am still trying to figure that out. SO mainly, I feel your pain, I agree whole heartedly, ADD SUCKS buckets, and I hope to find a support group I can visit every now and again to help me figure this out. *Hugs* !!

Posted by Skyeandante on Mar 01, 2012 at 2:33pm

You, girl, know your issues and deal… screw ups do occur.  don’t sweat the keys… You put them where you planned and did it well….  you just failed to see them..

That is NOT an ADD trait.

Keep at it… If you do have ADD, you have a better handle on it than most.

I admire your ability to deal and wish i was as able as you

Posted by LakeLife on Mar 01, 2012 at 10:53pm

EllaMae,  please don’t apologize for this disease! I hate it too! I’m late pretty much everyday for work as well and I have to open up the doors in the morning! It sucks because I actually like this job because I get to work with students but I have this one person who decided to report me to the “authority” the other day now it’s in my file.  I’m so pissed right now and I want to beat her ass!  (Typical ADHD anger) but I’m upset and anxious as well.  I want to be on time and I try but the more I try the more anxious I become therefore causing me to forget and misplace things in the morning and causing me to be late. I shower at night, get my clothes together at night, and I can get out the house in less than 45 mins! I don’t get it! Sigh…  I need to get on a stimulant again. Perhaps that will help.  It’s really mental. Just try not to beat yourself up and come here to vent anytime.

Posted by hellokittyfan on Mar 04, 2012 at 12:57pm

just reading all of your vents made me feel better about my rubbish day. smile x x

Posted by Cordee on Mar 09, 2012 at 8:35pm

OMG! You poor bb! Gosh I could relate! The damn keys! I am going to look for mine right after this lol! But yeah they grow legs and hide, or disappear! You described how ADHD plays a huge role in morning routine! But please hear my sincerity when I say congratulations on being a extra hard working mom! It is not easy to have ADHD an have a family! Oh and one thing I have done is make a copy of keys, house and car keys. A set for home, and a set to leave with trusted friend. : )

Posted by *Elletastic* on Sep 23, 2012 at 1:35am

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