Yes!  My husband always tells my son to look him in the eyes—it kind of cracks me up, because I’ve told my husband a million times over the years, “Just because I’m making eye contact with you, doesn’t mean I’m really listening!” 

I’m great at making eye contact, but as an adult with ADD myself, I know that that’s not a good indicator of attention.  I can be making eye contact, and even knodding, and be somewhere else completely in my head!

Very common.

Lynne Edris, ACG
Life & ADD Coach
http://www.CoachingADDvantages.com

As an ADD adult mom with an ADHD son what I’ve learned is that listening and looking at someone when they speak is over-stimulating. I can do one or the other, glancing up or over occasionally to the speaker. But not both. I want o hear you so I can’t look at you.

I agree with HV66 - it’s the same way at my house. I’m an ADD mom of an ADHD 9 y/o boy. We both have the same issue. I don’t have that problem while confronting the kids but when I am conversing with adults, I do.

Hi,
I have trouble getting my adhd daughter to make eye contact.  If I ask her to look at me so I know she isnt still watching tv or drawing or whatever she is doing she will but it only lasts about 20seconds….she will then look away but only with her eyes…....she wont move her head. 
I think its perfectly normal.  Im in the UK and here ADHD is on the Autistic spectrum.  Im not sure if its the same in the USA but I think its perfectly normal for an ADHDer to have this characteristic…...
Lynne

I think the eye contact thing is an ADHD symptom.  My husband and I began working with out son on eye contact.  Oddly enough at the meeting re: medication, the pediatrician told him why making eye contact is important.  I also feel like everything pre-ADHD diagnosis is kind of a blur. 

Anyway, the pediatrician talked to my son like he was an equal and didn’t “scold” or criticize him.  My son definitely responded more positively than when we, his parents, talk to him.

I’m trying to make an effort to praise the positive and cut back on the criticizing and yelling.  It isn’t easy because I have so much worry, guilt, anger, etc. but I’m trying.  We also started him on medication and hopefully that will make a difference.

I teach and have no trouble making eye contact with the kids but it’s a totally different story with my peers. I wondered if it was related to ADD…just assumed it was low self-esteem. I do ask kids to look at me when they are in trouble…I will be more sensitive to that in the future. Thanks for bringing this up!

yes us too my son is 7 has lil to no eye contact but he will some times look at me and dad ... and other people for get it !!    but he might have aspergers…they tell me its to much for them….. so I just let me be ....but I thank him for looking at me

We have the same issue with our 10 year old son. He is very shy, which I think is part of the problem. But I remember reading that kids with ADHD also have anxiety issues and I think eye contact does make them nervous (as another mom mentioned). I try hard to remember to sit beside my son when we need to talk so there is no eye contact. And if i REALLY want to get him to talk…I crawl into him bed at night after lights out. Our best conversations (and longest ones) happen in the dark where he seems more comfortable.

I was diagnosed with inattentive ADD when I was 21, but I remember as a child I had a hard time making eye contact with people. Even, as an adult I still have trouble making eye contact with my peers for any sustained amount of time. Though, I’ve found that if I look at the person and alternate between making eye contact for a few seconds and then looking away. The person still feels that I am involved and participating in the conversation.

I have also learned that if you look at the the person’s ear the person won’t know that you aren’t making eye contact with them. Hope this helps.

Syn

My six year old son has almost never made eye contact. The only time he has was when his medications started working, and that was a kind of “sign” for me that it was… If a medication isn’t working anymore, I can tell because it’s another battle to get him to look in my eyes.

I didn’t start this thread, but thank you to everyone that answered.  My 6 yr old son rarely makes eye contact, and like many of you, I always make him when I am talking to him. I won’t insist on it anymore!  I have wondered why it was so difficult for him so many times.  Now I have the answer.

Wow! I’m so glad I stumbled onto this thread. I’ve always had a hard time making eye contact when I’m feeling critisized or anyhting heavy, negative or uncomfortable. It’s like it’s sensory overload & it’s all I can do to keep breathing steady & not do anyrthing to make it known that I’m about to freak out.or cry - or worse, laugh inappropriately as humor is my favorite coping mechanism. I like what someone said about their doctor speaking to their child as an equal on his level. How I wish more people had done this for me. Yelling at me, grabbing me to get my attention is SO distracting and always makes the situation worse!. If a person calmly respectfully communicates information with out the negative emotions, then it’s merely information. Even if I don’t much like it, I can choose to accept it rather then feel the need to defend myself or rebel against what feels like being bullied, jugded or critisized. After all, who responds to that sort of thing anyway?!?! Certainly not a hyper-sensitive ADD kid who has enough emtional challenges to sort out already. Sometimes eye contact is just more taxing then you can possibly imagine, believe it!

Wow! I’m so glad I stumbled onto this thread. I’ve always had a hard time making eye contact when I’m feeling critisized or anyhting heavy, negative or uncomfortable. It’s like it’s sensory overload & it’s all I can do to keep breathing steady & not do anyrthing to make it known that I’m about to freak out.or cry - or worse, laugh inappropriately as humor is my favorite coping mechanism. I like what someone said about their doctor speaking to their child as an equal on his level. How I wish more people had done this for me. Yelling at me, grabbing me to get my attention is SO distracting and always makes the situation worse!. If a person calmly respectfully communicates information with out the negative emotions, then it’s merely information. Even if I don’t much like it, I can choose to accept it rather then feel the need to defend myself or rebel against what feels like being bullied, jugded or critisized. After all, who responds to that sort of thing anyway?!?! Certainly not a hyper-sensitive ADD kid who has enough emtional challenges to sort out already. Sometimes eye contact is just more taxing then you can possibly imagine, believe it!