Parents of ADHD Children
ADHD feels so isolating
My son is 5 years old and was diagnosed with ADHD & ODD a year ago. My husband and I see things very differently. I chose to try medication with my son after an exhausting year of trying many other options. Medication has brought sanity to not only my son but to our family.
It is coming up on a year with medication and I am starting to feel that old uncomfortable feeling of friends/family judging my parenting techniques. It seems that with my son we have good days and bad days. There is always the questionable time around 4pm. However, right now we seem to be in the hard time: more difficulty transitioning, verbal outbursts, more defiance, overall a time where being in public is difficult.
I want to feel that friend/family is a safe place to go for bbq and gatherings in the evenings but I am not feeling that right now. I feel like they want me to ‘control’ my son. My husband even turned on me saying our son only acts out when I am around. He is the last person I needed to turn on me. I am feeling like my corner is empty.
I was a SAHM with my son for the last 5 years. I have been the primary care parent with him. Once he started kindergarten last year, I got a part-time job at his school. I am the one the pursued a diagnosis, I am the one that tried supplements, sensory techniques, enrolled in positive parenting classes, work with the school and my son’s teachers to maintain consistency across the board, reads books about ADHD and seeks information online. My husband thinks that ‘old school’ parenting is what he needs. Everything I read and have been told by the professionals is that yelling and spanking your ADHD/ODD child will only make it worse. I, instead, have opted to find other ways for disciplining. This is done with charts, rewards, role playing situations that have been difficult for a different outcome, talking through how to right a wrong, apologize to people… i am exhausted. What works now my not work next month. With a 5 year old brain that is constantly growing and changing so do the techniques I use.
I don’t want to feel isolated. I don’t want to feel judged as a parent. I don’t want to feel alone.
I want to support my son. I want to teach my son how to self regulate. I want my husband, friends and family to respect and acknowledge how hard I am working on my son. I want my husband, friends and family to try to understand that my son is not your typical 5 year old. He may need to be raised differently than your children without ADHD were raised.
Can anyone relate to any of this?
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