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Just Diagnosed With ADHD (Adults)

A rare occasion, when a diagnosis of an illness is a reliefe

Hello All. I’m 47.9 years old (turning 48 next week). I’m a two month old ADHD infant. I’m saying that both because it’s funny, and also, that I truly think that my life changed so much on Nov 14, 2013; it’s comparable to being just born. Yes, I mean that. I have so much to share, (btw three months ago I would have never written in a forum like this, as I never, ever have in my life). First and foremost the most important aspect of all of our new realizations is that we should feel extremely fortunate (or blessed if you will). Why? Well, because we just found the answer to most of our life long dilemmas. The endless nights of sitting or lying in bed, trying to figure out what just happened that day, and why. Staring at black and white text on a page of a book or work document, trying to read a line growing increasingly frustrated to the onset of physical pain from trying to concentrate so hard. All this, while humming a GNR song (sweet child ‘o mine) in your head, and reciting an argument with your wife from that morning, (also in your head). Leaving to go to and appointment, and noticing a billboard on the freeway that prompts you to exit saying: “Hey as long as I’m here, I need to go and get that tool, I wanted for 8 months, but always forgot to buy”. Next thing you know, the phone rings, with an inquiring if not slightly annoyed voice on the other end asking:” We had an appointment at 11 am, are you going to make that, or?” Lord! It’s 12.30. What just happened with the last hour and a half? Besides, I just made plans 10 minutes ago to have lunch. I can go on and on, but all of us had the same things happen. But back to being fortunate.
We just found out what caused all or most of our problems in life. Well, at least those of us who “only” have ADHD as a main condition and all the depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, anger etc. is a secondary goodness that comes as a result (onset) of the main course. Unlike many others who, when diagnosed with a new illness or condition, will just add to the confusion that has existed for years. For them, instead of answering the Million $ Question to life’s little mystery, a new diagnosis will just create another rather large set of questions, and more confusion. I consider myself fortunate. Not because I just find out I have an illness (the negative), but because I just figured the “why” to the “what” for anything that happened to me and my surroundings through all my life. (The positive)
I don’t exactly know yet if it’s the Adderall 20 mg/day alone, or the combination of medication and realization of my situation (I guess you can call it “self” cognitive behavioral therapy), and being able to change and adopt, but my life has officially been changed.


Hi, JD,

I am glad that you are feeling relieved. Yes, a diagnosis does change your life.

I was not relieved; I was angry to the point of rage. I did not have the common school problems w/ my ADHD impairments. In fact, academia was the domain where I functioned very well. I was a washout at home, where I was called either “lazy” or “space cadet,” depending on my mother’s mood of the day. (We are certain she spent her entire life with undiagnosed ADHD, and possibly a narcissistic personality disorder.)

I have combined type, with adult fidgeting and inner restlessness, along with periods (days, even) of just drifting along, getting nothing done. I had pretty much considered as “just me,” all those difficulties of executive function that impair the lives of ADHD adults, and was pretty much clueless as to how much I was struggling and how significant my impairments were.

Most adults experience a combination of relief and anger. It is a real grief process, and takes a long time to move through. So don’t be surprised if you find that you are angry at the damage undiagnosed ADHD has done in your life, in ways you do not yet recognize.

There are some good books out there specifically for those of us diagnosed as adults. They can be very helpful for both the “inner work” and the behavior modifications that it takes getting used to being someone with ADHD.

Posted by ADD me on Jan 18, 2014 at 12:06am

I’m a 61 yr old single mother who was just diagnosed today with ADHD and Depressive Disorder.  My daughter, who is 17 told me when she was 14 that she thought she had ADHD and she did.  She is doing very well in school since she has been on medication.  I thought everything she did was normal and did not realize she had ADHD.

I am probably at my lowest right now with severe money problems and have not been able to sustain a normal relationship for over 40 years.  I have regrets about not being diagnosed a lot sooner but feel relieved that I have a diagnoses now and will be getting medication to have a fresh start on life.  I know that I have a lot of work ahead of me and I’m willing to accept it.

Posted by ADDat61 on Jan 18, 2014 at 6:49am

Hi Bugwig
I can truly relate to what you say as I, myself am also aged 47 and have also only just been diagnosed with ADHD combined type (plus a few other little gems besides).
For me it was a bit of a mix of emotions, relief at the fact of knowing why so many things always seemed to just not get done or finished on time, why I just didn´t remember the conversation I´d apparently had only yesterday and relief also at the fact that now looking forward I can truly try and get my life into some sort of order but I must say I also felt a little bit of anger…

Anger at the years of having been told by teachers, bosses, partners & so on that I was either lazy, just didn´t care, wasn´t making an effort or wasn´t really trying hard enough.

It does now seem that there may be a light at the end of the tunnel…....if only I could remember where I put my bloody torch !  wink

Posted by smackemback on Feb 22, 2014 at 6:57am

I am newly diagnosed but started taking adderal and felt
strong headaches and sometimes agressive
any suggestions?

Posted by angel!1 on Mar 01, 2014 at 2:26am

Hi all,

I am new to this site and I can not tell you how wonderful it is to read about people like me.  I was married for 18 years and my ex convinced me that I was SUCH a loser (like I didn’t already know that smile.  Anyhoo…  it was my roommate that had me read an article about ADD that made me realize IT WAS ME.  I am sorry, but I do not need an ‘expert’ to tell me I have ADD.  I am a poster child for it.  I heard the term for years, but thought to myself…  the way that I can focus like no other at times…  there is NO WAY I have ADD!  Then, I heard the term ‘hyper-focus’—you know that black hole that sucks you into where you obsess over things that are SO microscopic that no one on earth will EVER notice.  Can you relate?  smile

Yes, I have suffered with depression most of my life, too, but I have known for a long time that, like someone said above…  if I could just get my shit together, I would not be depressed!!!  I have been on Adderall awhile now (8 months or so) and it just seems like a mega dose of caffeine to me.  It helped at first, but now I am immune and crash at the end of the day.  Not saying I will go off of it, but I know I need more than the meds.  I do not take days off like I am supposed to do because then I can not get out of bed.  Must work on that…

I have an appointment with a CBT next week.  After seeing what that is all about, I may hire an ADD/organization/time management coach.  Maybe those are the same thing?  Not sure but SO looking forward to getting help!  HOPE IS GOOD FOOD!  smile  Blessings ya’ll!!  I live in Texas ;’)

Posted by iamweakheisstrong on Mar 17, 2014 at 7:09am

Hi,  l need help, please.  Like all of you, I was only diagnosed a few months ago.  I was researching ADHD in order to relate better with my adult son whose ADHD has crippled so much of his life because we didn’t KNOW how awful it is.  Found out that its genetic, read an article on here about women and ADHD…and saw my life in print!  Because of my age, 56, my psych doc doesnt want to put me on stimulants.  Yet I dont have any heart problems or any chronic medical issues except being 50# overweight.  Im still so scattered on the Strattera…which is definately helping…that I just want to give up.  Dont know what to do, who to get advice from…feeling pretty rotten.  Any helpful, practical suggestions?  Thanks in advance.  Sass.

Posted by Sassinack on Jul 02, 2014 at 3:01am

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