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Parents of ADHD Children

Adhd preteen and inattentive

I am married with three children. My oldest (12years) was diagnosed with adhd, the inattentive part. I knew there was a problem with her attention years ago but everyone around me said she will grow out of it. But, I’m still waiting!
She use to do well in school but for the last 2 years, her grades started to fall. She is an active member of a local team and does well.
All her teacher love her but agree she has difficulty focusing. She is very chatty and social able in class and it has become a problem.
I love my daughter soooooo much. I want to help her but don’t know what else to do. I’ve tried, behavioral therapy, diet change, punishment, behavior charts, conduct cards, tutoring, siting in her classes, spending quality time more often, etc. any ideas? Trying to avoid medicating her.


From my understanding as a mother with a 12yr old son with inattentive ADHD the root cause in a majority of cases is a lack of activity in the frontal lobe of the brain, involving dopamine and norepinephrine in particular.

So in our minds ADHD is a medical condition to start with and needs to be treated that way. Before Ritalin my son’s life was extraordinarily more difficult and I regret very much not being more proactive in finding the right treatment for him. He knows how much it helps him and is grateful for it.

These difficulties do have serious emotional consequences which is why it is so essential that these children get medically treated and psychologically treated as well so that they have the best chance of success.

I love my son more than anything and being the parent of a child with ADHD child is so hard. Our first reaction to ADHD was ‘we don’t want to medicate’, but when we looked into the cause of ADHD, and that it could be treated, we try to make sure it’s the right medical treatment just as we would any other kind of medical problem.

My heart goes out to you and I’m so sorry for your struggles. The majority of those with ADHD do not outgrow it, but they do learn to compensate for it. I can only say from my experience that medication is a very important part of the treatment. Anyone with an ADHD child needs to be open to the fact that it’s often necessary…. because we love them and want the best for them we have to try whatever may help. Very best to you and your daughter.

Posted by Havebeenthere on Nov 25, 2013 at 4:40am

We struggled for 2 years with our ADHD son - behavioral therapy, charts etc.  We then reluctantly tried medicine (Concerta - long acting).  What a positive difference!  We would never want to go back to those dark days again.

Do your research, but don’t rule out medicine. It can really make a difference (at least for us it did).

Posted by staypositive on Nov 25, 2013 at 9:10am

Someone posted this on a thread the other day and I can’t tell you how helpful it was.  Please watch it, you will be very, very happy you did.

Posted by YellaRyan on Nov 25, 2013 at 10:09am

I really recommend medicine. It really helps in a lot of ways. It’s only half the battle, but it makes things easier. It makes other treatments more effective as well.
I was your daughter’s age when my grades started to plummet. Sadly, I was just diagnosed early this year, at the age of 21.

Don’t be scared of medication, with professional help you’ll find the right dose of the right med. And work with your daughter towards understanding ADHD. What it does, why it does it, how it is for different people. Learn about things like Hyperfocus and so on.
Diving into ADHD is one of the things that has helped me the most.

Going up against ADHD, as well as making the most out of it, is what has given me the motivation I lacked in my life.

Posted by Nacho on Nov 27, 2013 at 5:53am

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