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Always missing the mark

Hello all, I am new to this group and just felt like I needed an outlet of supportive people who can understand where I’m coming from as I have very little of that. To explain more of myself, I’m 28 years old and was diagnosed with Adhd as a child but never stuck with any consistent treatment of my condition, As a result I have suffered immensely, From a dropping out of high school, a failed marriage, To being black balled out of a profession that I was always good at. Since all of this has happened, I’ve obviously been driven to seek out better treatment due to the havoc of my neglect. I’ve most recently started CBT and am taking adderall again at a very low dosage. I feel like I’m covered with a never ending backwash from the cycle of my path of self destruct due to going untreated. Things haven’t all been bad but for the most part it’s been pretty pathetic. Since, I have lost resources for employment in an area that I thrive in, I’m back at home and have no idea what to do with myself. I’ve explored the option of continuing education but realize that the rate of graduates that are perplexed with Adhd are virtually slim to none. It hurts everyday to see myself in shambles when everyone else around me flourishes. I have no social life other than a group of negative peers from my past which I choose to avoid. It’s even more frustrating to know that I have all the makings to be successful as I’m a fairly handsome guy and extremely talented in sales and operate with average intelligence, at least. I always feel that I’ve been so near but yet so far. I’ve made a reputation as being rebellious and unwilling to conform to societal standards and as a result I’m pretty well ostracized to the point where I feel that I’m in exile. I don’t expect everyone to read this but I surely hope that it may reach someone who can somewhat relate. I know that all of us are different and have different circumstances. Thank you for reading this for those of you that choose to!

Replies

I did a pretty good job of screwing up my life too. My life as of today is good. You might ask yourself if you could make room for God in your life. Before I was born again I was so messed up that I prayed that I would just die. I have prayed a prayer for you, and I hope that you will make the decisions that will make you into someone that looks forward to life. God bless you and do not give up.

Posted by Rancher John on Aug 03, 2014 at 6:17pm

First of all…congratulations for getting all of that off your chest to the world.  The many painful and helpless feelings that are eating you, probably feel as if you’ve been uniquely cursed, but the good news is that you share a very unique brain makeup with other people in this party. 

Right now, I hope you will acknowledge that you’re a tough SOB.  You’ve made it through a world of indifference to your battles to a small percentage of the population who have also spent most of our lives fighting these same demons. 

I’m new to this website as well, and am completely relieved to finally feeling understood, and am grateful to be in a position to support others who share my confusion, helplessness and frustration.  Now that I am understanding how this condition warps my sense of reality, I can sidestep my knee-jerk (and often isolating) reaction, take an extra minute, and give myself the best chance of finding the successes that have similarly eluded me. 

We’re hardworking, passionate, thoughtful and intuitive people who have so much to offer the world.  We just need to respect and compensate for the fact that our uniquely wired brains have a habit of leading us to isolate ourselves.

For what it’s worth, I’ve found meditation to be very helpful. 

Best of luck!!

Louis

Posted by Louis Wellmeier on Aug 03, 2014 at 7:42pm

I have found a lot of help at a local support group.
They are all a bit ‘crazy’, but I feel comfortable there and we discuss a wide range of things and most is related to ADD and ADHD (with some intense discussions on the detail differences between to the two, as you would expect!)

Posted by Bob from Cootamundra on Aug 04, 2014 at 4:25am

Thank you all for your feedback.
Finding a support group is something that I really wish were possible but since I live in the Southeastern region of the country, there are limited resources. My best way of coping with this right now is my counselor that I’m seeing now.

Most of the people in my area which is a very small town are ignorant as to what ADHD really is. I hope to someday relocate to a bigger city that has more resources for people like myself.

As far as social circles I have none. I live in a very narrow minded and bigoted town which is also putting a damper on my recovery or management of my condition. I hope to gain further insight on how to manage my symptoms and learn new things from you all. I’m certain that we can possibly all learn something new from each other.

Posted by Benjycompson222 on Aug 04, 2014 at 11:18am

REPOSTED BY MODERATOR


bee1
this is my first time responding to any of the support groups I am affiliated with:

Im 46 (not fully diagnosed) though enough until money allows a full test

add has affected me all my life: relationships / employment / behavior / self-esteem

I am currently separated with my wife of 17yrs. Something I do not want. My wife is the most amazing person to enter my life. She has put up with so much of my add crap, I cannot blame her to be frustrated and wanting a break. I have 2 amazing kids 9/10. I’ve suffered so much in my life; and I am the most pain I hve ever experienced in my life. I KNOW my add has contributed it greatly to where I am
I am incredibly emotional / sensitive so I am consumed with emotions all throughout the day and night that it keeps me from what I need to do

I was the one who moved out, living with a friend where I am renting 2 rooms so my kids can stay with me.
I have to deal with this separation / having a roommate / and no job. I was blessed to be a stay-at-home dad - I chose to be a stay-home dad mostly because I wanted too and also because there is no way I can support my family financially / and the fear of having any and all jobs possibly screwing them up (I was fired last year after 13 yrs - I know my add helped that one :(

I have to now build my own business to be able to support myself and my kids Something which is daunting a horrifically frightening.

If I am able to separate my emotions / fear; I can do this. I can feel it
I take adderall thats both a blessing and a curse. Im searching for a new psychiatrist and therapist so I can get the right care for me

Thank You for everyone for sharing there life - stories with the support groups. Finally, I feel safe and comfortable to share my story…

Not sure what I am looking for . . maybe just to not feel alone . .

Posted by bee1 on Aug 03, 2014 at 8:07pm

Posted by adhdmomma on Aug 04, 2014 at 2:35pm

Benjy,

I think you should pat yourself on the back for having pursued this avenue and seemingly starting to see and make the changes you need to.  I know some people seem to get places quicker or never seem to have any real “strife” in their lives. I have had years of sh**ty outcomes and what I would call my Seinfeld Episode Life…. (I think now I have finally found out why I have made some of the choices I made and why I am so unorganized and to be honest down right obnoxious and impulsive most times.) I don’t want to sound like a preacher and that I can 100% relate to what you have and are going through but I also think at 28 you have so much time and opportunity with you even though it doesn’t feel like it right now.  You will sew up the ends of your life soon, know that.  Just keep following the path you’re on, take some educated risks because you have youth on your side! Enjoy life and ride the wave wherever it takes you. (Thank you Pearl Jam!)  I wish you luck and look forward to seeing some updates! grin

Julie

Posted by Jules1972 on Aug 07, 2014 at 6:42pm

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