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Couples With One ADHD Partner

Anxiety, me... ADHD, him

Do any of the spouses/significant others deal with anxiety? If so, how is this working for you being in a relationship with an ADHD person? Can that combination work and be successful? I don’t know if my anxiety amplifies his ADHD traits or if his ADHD worsens my anxiety, but as of now it does not seem like a good combo. Thanks in advance for your feedback!


This combination can be fine if you are both willing to   be gracious with one another and willing to adopt the attutude of a student. Learning about one another and these issues can be a great project. A pivotal issue is change; one can change oneself; that’s the key to growth and happiness.

Attempting to change another is the key to misery and disaster.

In my coaching I see both extremes. Watching those who do not get this simple rule of living is tragic while helping those willing to switch their thinking is a constant joy.

Posted by John Tucker, PhD, ACG. ADHD Coach on Apr 10, 2017 at 10:15am

I agree that we can only work on changing ourselves. Thank you for your insight and help!

Posted by Roxyfox80 on Apr 11, 2017 at 3:17am

I have mild situational anxiety and some OCD tendencies, and my boyfriend has ADHD.  We still have our triggers and fights, but I can say that he has helped me to stop planning everything out quite so much.  I still feel the need to plan (and control), but I’ve had to relax some because he just doesn’t function within my plans.  Some days I wish I could plan ahead a bit more, but I try to only do that with activities that don’t include him.  It’s a learning process…

Posted by ceausa on Apr 11, 2017 at 7:53pm

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