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ADHD in Boys

Are Doctors really helpful?

Hello.  I’m new to this group.  Have not been in a group in the past and a friend suggested i join one for my sanity.  My 5yr old has ADHD and was diagnosed last year.  I feel like it’s been a rollercoaster ride and with appointments being rescheduled by the doctor’s office frequently i feel they are not much help.  We are on the third doctor and it is a clinic for low-income families so i wonder if they are not taking this serious.  My son has had his adderall increased 3 times in a year and just switched his other medication from risperidol to intuniv.  He did well for a couple of months after the change and now is back to misbehaving and being extremely defiant and just wanting things his way.  The Dr said no spanking.  i just started reading 1-2-3 Magic and until i’m done with reading it seems like a low impact spank or raising my voice is the only thing that works. he laughs at time outs and mocks me.  He had his next appointment scheduled for 2weeks from now and it was just rescheduled, again, to 4 weeks from now. NOTE:  i have 16yr old twins who don’t have ADHD and never had challenging behaviors.  Is it normal to feel the doctor doesn’t seem to care?

Replies

ADHD is extremely challenging and stressful for the entire family…and as a mom of an 8yr old (diagnosed at 5 1/2), its especially difficult to maintain that balance of patience, love, understanding and discipline and setting boundries.  Having a physician that you respect and get along with personality wise is critical as ADHD meds are not a one size fits all.  I suggest you try to find another doctor.  Its truly a medication juggling act to find the right med at the right dose…........lots of trial and error is needed and unfortunately that means lots of MD visits.  I wish you and your family well!  Good luck!

Posted by curlygirl on Jul 17, 2014 at 4:37pm

Thank you for your input.  yes it is very stressful.  Even when he chooses a family activity it’s stressful.  I will again be looking for a different doctor.

Posted by Smedina80 on Jul 17, 2014 at 6:01pm

The key is a doctor (or better yet, a psychiatrist) who specializes in kids with ADHD. Everyone else just has a basic understanding of it and won’t be as much help.

My biggest recommendation is always to become an expert yourself. Read all you can (anything by Dr Russell Barkley or Dr Ross Greene is awesome), attend seminars, see if your local children’s hospital has groups or seminars, watch youtube videos by the drs I mentioned, etc. Having this expertise will help you know what your son is capable of and then doctors become partners instead of these seemingly random care givers.

Posted by Rai0414 on Jul 17, 2014 at 7:12pm

Rai0414. thank you. i will look into the books you recommended right away. 
I have to thank my friend.  her suggestion to join a group has been an eye opener.

Posted by Smedina80 on Jul 17, 2014 at 9:28pm

Hi Smedina!

Discipline and ADHD is a tough balance. What has been shown to work with kids with ADHD is more praise and rewards and less punishment (http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/3577.html). It’s definitely counter-intuitive to how most of us were raised, but it’s more effective for kids with neurobehavioral disorders. It’s imperative that you stay calm at all times and model appropriate behavior (http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/10507.html).

The key to 1-2-3 Magic (http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/771.html) is to be sure you are pausing for 5 full seconds between every number when counting. Kids with ADHD often have a slow processing speed - the pause allows their brain extra time to process. Once I implemented the pause, counting went from 10% effective to 95% effective. Keep at it consistently and with the pause.

Find an ADHD specialist you are comfortable with and implement the above strategies at home and you will see improved behavior over time.

Penny
ADDconnect Moderator, Author & Mom to Tween Boy with ADHD and LDs

Posted by adhdmomma on Jul 18, 2014 at 1:21pm

Ditch the 1 2 3 Magic or
As Ross Greeme calls it
1 2 3 Kaboom

My ADHD guy reacts explosively to any ultimatum.
Read the Explosive Child, It changed everything for us
You are doing great
Welcome to the forums, they have helped me immensely
Good luck

Posted by Anna from toronto on Aug 31, 2014 at 2:27pm

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