ADHD in Boys
At wits end...
I’m new here and I need to vent. I have a 10 yr old son who was diagnosed with ADHD at 6 years old. He was always difficult as a baby, toddler, preschooler, you name it, it was trying. The public school near our home didn’t seem to accommodating to students who, let’s say, didn’t fit the mold. We had him tested in January of 1st grade, wrote a 504 for him and we thought we were good to go. Second grade was more of a challenge. His teacher was out a lot, the sub was a brand new teacher, not equipped to deal with behaviors, and when the teacher came back from medical leave actually put into writing that she can’t do anything for my son. At that point I requested an IEP be written for written expression. He is now entering 5th grade and it has been a struggle ever since. Today I received a phone call from the head of Religious Education at our church. Apparently, during Vacation Bible Camp (which took place once school ended for the summer), my son was bothering another child, who happened to be in his class. The parents told the Religious Educator that this has been ongoing and they are tired of my son. Other parents working at the camp made mention to the Religious Educator that my son is a known trouble maker in school. The parents of this particular child had her write a letter to us to tell us how my son is a “pain” to her. This is the first I’m hearing of my son having major issues with other children in the classroom to the point where he is “a pain”. I have met with the school numerous times and pleaded for social groups to be put into place so he doesn’t get a stigma. I have been begging since he was in first grade for this to happen to avoid this exact situation. I am a teacher who deals with students with ADHD, Behavior problems, you name it I have it in my classroom. I would come to meetings at my son’s school with resources for them to use, how to teach expected and unexpected behaviors, how to implement a check in check out system etc. They have done nothing. Now I am not the parent to say it’s not my child or “he’s doing that because of his ADHD”. I had my son write an apology letter to the other student and he will mail it tonight. However, the more I think about this, the more upset I get that another parent would allow their child to call another child “a pain”. I know ADHD isn’t a disability that is right there in your face, you don’t know something is “wrong” with the child. I think I"m overly sensitive but I would never allow my child to write another child’s parents a letter basically telling them all the reasons why they don’t like my child. I did show the letter to my son to let him know how his actions effect others but I want to educate the other parents on how difficult it is to be a parent with a child with ADHD. How difficult it is to entrust your child in the care of others, hoping they have the skills and strategies to make your child successful. I basically want them to walk a mile in my shoes, knowing your child doesn’t get invited to birthday parties, cringing every time an email from school comes through, following him at ever social event we attend to make sure he is making the right choices, watching him cry when no one wants to play with him, fighting to get school work done at home. I’m frustrated and needed to vent. We do see a psychologist, he is on meds, and we are seriously thinking about finding another placement for him for school but we don’t know where to turn. Thank you for listening.
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