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ADHD at School

Avoiding help

Does any one else see that their teen does not want to accept assistance offered ?
My 9th grade daughter has been given multiple opportunities to help her organize her note book & locker at school, However in order to get this help she must ask for this during the times that the students are socializing (she needs this social interaction as well) before classes begin for the day. The excuses I get are : I forgot ,I have no time, I want to talk to my friends…
There is one teacher in particular that does occasional “book checks” to see if she has the text (that is kept in her locker). If she doesn’t have it with her in class during that period, she loses 5 precious points of her grade.
Any suggestions?

What can be a good solution to this as my daughter is about to fail.


Recognizing that social time is paramount to our teens, is it possible that a friend could help her with this organization? It is more likely to get done if a friend can help her because it allows for socialization, as well.

Posted by BDogsMom on Mar 24, 2014 at 1:00am

Having a friend help is a great idea. It might also help if you could avoid mentioning it any more. I suspect that reminding on your part is having the opposite effect. If you can completely avoid accepting any responsibility you can open the door to her accepting responsibility.

Posted by John Tucker, PhD, ACG. ADHD Coach on Mar 24, 2014 at 1:34am

I’m a teacher with ADHD and other learning challenges.  Does you daughter have any role models that has the same condition she has? 

I ask for two reasons. First: Wasn’t diagnosed with dyslexia, reading and writing comprehension disorders until I was 22 and with ADHD until I was 26 .  Prior to that, I didn’t want to get or ask for help because I didn’t want myself or anyone else to believe that there was something “wrong” with me. 
After diagnosis, I realized that there wasn’t anything wrong with me, just that my brain isn’t “wired” the same as an average bear.  It helped me realize my own intelligence and gave me more confidence. 
Secondly, I’ve come to realize that I’ve been able to help students who have similar challenges that I do.  I’ve been able to give them tips on how I’ve adjusted my life to make things work.  Now I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t know too many people who are more unorganized than I but, I hope to provide some help to those who might need it. 

I hope this long response helps.  Message me if you would like to continue the discussion.

Posted by Mr. Keenan on May 15, 2014 at 8:29am

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