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Parents of ADHD Preteens

Babysitter and Tutor of 11 year old with ADHD


I couldn’t find a group for nannies or tutors so this seemed like the best bet.  I care for an 11yo girl with ADHD and a possible learning disability.  Her parents are fantastic but I always feel so guilty when I have to give them negative behavior reports on top of the issues they already experience themselves.  My primary concern at the moment would be behavior.  She manages to behave well at school but often times when I pick her up, almost as soon as she gets in the car, if I ask the wrong question or say the wrong thing then it totally sets her off.  After she has a tantrum she will most likely ask me a question or say something as if nothing had ever happened.  I will normally try to explain to her that she just said or did something unkind and that it hurt my feelings and she will apologize and we move on but within 30 minutes to an hour it will happen again.  I’m not sure what to do.  There’s no limit to where these tantrums may occur and I don’t know how to handle them as someone who isn’t her parent but cares so much about her. My fear is that if her behavior doesn’t change then it will affect her ability to make and keep friends.  Any advice would be appreciated.


You nailed it.  It is so incredibly hard.  Thanks so much and good luck to you as well smile

Posted by Nanny121 on Apr 13, 2014 at 9:17pm

If she takes ADHD medication, it’s important to tell her parents the frequency of this afternoon behavior so they can report it to the prescribing doctor. It very well could be rebound as the medication is wearing off, and the doctor can help with that. My son is like that in the afternoons as well.

ADDconnect Moderator & Mom to Tween Boy with ADHD and LDs

Posted by adhdmomma on Apr 14, 2014 at 4:58pm

My daughter is the same way.  She is on meds to get through school but I suspect they wear off around the time I pick her up from the after school program.  She is 11 years old, and has a comment for everything I say.  As if to debate it or say why she can’t.  I am probablly too flexible with her but it’s mostly to avoid upsetting the proverbal “apple cart” so to speak.  Thankfully she is a on meds and a straight A student.  However, I feel school gets her best behavior and I have her when her “tank” is on empty and so am I.  I’m not so sure she even realizes her negative behaviors sometimes.

Posted by GiraffesRock on May 11, 2014 at 6:25pm

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