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ADHD in Boys

Bad grades and a temper
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My 13 year old son is in 8th grade - he has a great team of teachers who work with him and are available every day for tutoring, and he has a tutor in math and language arts. The first quarter he was getting A’s and B’s so we signed him up for the school trip to DC in the spring. His grades this quarter are C’s and D’s and he has the attitude of “so what, at least they are not F’s”. He also has a coexisting condition of ODD. Yesterday, I received an email that he was missing 5 assignments in various classes. His teachers are giving him the 2 weeks over Christmas break to complete. He wanted to work on the math assignment yesterday, and when I wouldn’t do the work for him - he got mad and threw a Christmas decoration which broke. Between the bad grades, bad attitude, and further destruction of property in the house which will require money to replace or fix - I want to take away this trip. My husband disagrees. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated!

Replies

Hi,
He ‘won’ the trip for the first quarter effort. The later behaviour is a different time. He may feel that his prior good work is meaningless if the trip is taken away. Thus the only result would be a simmering resentment which will lead to more frustration. I agree with your husband.

I agree with your stand on the homework. You can be polite, caring and helpful but good for you for standing your ground on that issue. Not only that but if he chooses not to do the work it is his choice and he will face the consequences at school. This will not be your doing but his. That, in itself, is a valuable step.

Posted by John Tucker, PhD, ACG. ADHD Coach on Dec 20, 2013 at 6:34pm

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