Woman, you really need to get your butt to a phychiatrist!  DON’T WAIT!  You don’t want to wait until you’re properly diagnosed at 45, like i had to.
I also stuggled with addictions, but being on meds now for ADHD and bi-polar 2, my life is so much better.  Also found out that anti-depressents can have a different effect on people with bi-polar….such as making you ultra addicted!  My alcoholism/drug issues started the same month I started ani-depressents at the age of 28…off them now and feel great!  My physc. is just wonderful…please go!

You sound like you are very bitter and I am sorry you are going thru this.  I am 54, ADD and BIP2.  I also have tons of debt and got fired a few months ago.  I am a single mom of a 14 y/o son (ADD also) It is very frustrating trying to get a diagnosis and finding the right meds.  Try to be patient tho, once you get the right combo, life will change for the better.  Whatever meds you are put on, it is vital to take everyday.  Focus, time management and organization is very impt too. 
Finding a job is hard esp for us.  I am volunteering and serving the community until a JOB comes along. 
I am sorry you feel this way about religion.  Sounds like you have been hurt deeply and you just need a place to fit in.  Don’t give up and I do hope one day you will find a church and your way back to the Lord.  I have and life is amazing!  I see things in a whole new “light” By helping others, my focus is on that and not me and all my problems.  Before I know it, things change for me and for the better.  It can for you too.
Being a social worker will be a great way to help others~esp those with ADD, ADHD, Depression, Aniexty, and BP. 
Checking this website is a big help.  Tons of support and advice.  You are not alone.
What do you do in your spare time?  Do you have any hobbies?  Have you any support from family or friends?  Finding a support group may help.  At least give it a try, you will meet people going thru things and you may have something in common. 
Most of all, find a good Psychiatrist and maybe keep a journal.  Write things down, how you are feeling.  This will help he/she help you. 
I have a couple home based businesses to work to get me thru since the unemployment doesn’t come close to paying the bills. I graduated w/Associates 6 yrs ago, had a great job for over 4 yrs, fired for no good reason.  I have loans (been in deferrment off and on since I graduated) and now owe over 30,000 and my house 65 ,000.  It is an insurmountable mountain but life does go on and I am not going to worry about tomorrow, it will take care of it self. Just live one day at a time and try to do 1 thing for yourself daily. 
Keep us posted and remember you are not alone.  We are here for you.  I sure hopes this helps you in some way.

Hi Mon,

You need a definite plan of action. You’re on the right track with your appointment with the psychiatrist to get a proper diagnosis with the proper meds. It will help tremendously. Due to a financial problem I had to go to a cheaper med for about a month and I went downhill FAST. After the first day of being back on the meds that work for me it was a whole new world.

If I may, I have a suggested plan for you.

1. You must relax your mind immediately. It’s not as hard as you may think. The cheapest and easiest way if you’re not practiced in meditation is to buy a good CD. ZIBA by Jodi Roberts and Cornell Kinderknecht is a great one. DO NOT play this in the car. Jodi plays Tibetan Bowls and Gongs. Cornell plays flutes. You can get it at http://cornellk.com/cds/index.html and at http://jodiroberts.com/. Full disclosure… I do know them but I only recommend it because it really works. 

2.  Stop worrying about your student debt. Go back to school and get your Masters. Keep deferring your payments. You will be able to get credit towards your license and even get your loans paid by working in your field. I suggest, instead of social work, go for therapy. Being a social worker can be extremely stressful, pays very low wages and can break your heart. Being a therapist pays better and you can do it with a Master’s Degree. Do a lot of research to find the best university with the best programs. Also, you can still be an advocate without a degree.

3.  Your are spiritual rather than religious, as am I. Find a church that welcomes all faiths or, even better, a spiritual/meditation center. If you don’t find anything near you, then move. I’m in Dallas and we have a strong spiritual community. If you move here, I’ll even hold your hand.

So, work on relaxing your mind and getting diagnosed first. Finding the right meds at the right dose can take some time so try to be patient. It will come.

Reconnect with your spiritual side and finish your education. You will absolutely shine. Positive friends, and maybe even a boyfriend will be attracted to you.

A good website for free online support is totallyadd.com. It’s for adults with ADD and the doctors actually have ADD so they have a great understanding. Many of the introductory videos are funny and silly but it’s absolutely loaded with good and practical information and tons of current and archived seminars. The humor will help you laugh at yourself with is a very good thing.

Any questions or thoughts, contact me. Between my kids and me I’ve picked up a lot and, as long as I’m on the right meds, I remember what they are.

Monica
You have had a tough row to hoe for some time now. To be quite honest I am worried about you. Maybe the last thing you want is somebody trying to shove Jesus down your throat, so I won’t. But it sounds to me like you do not need a counselor, you need the Great Counselor. Just for grins take your story over to the “Christians with ADHD” discussion group, you will find it listed in the discussion group drop down menu. What do you have to loose.

I AM 57 and I got my report about my adhd about 28 years ago.  Now I see a shrink and a theripst and together I am much better. When you go to bed at night ask God to hold your hand to make you strong.  God made us for a reason please hang on.  We can;t afford to lose another one of us we need to be strong take care of yourself.

I am a Single 51 male.
I have a Master in Photography.
I have Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), dysgraphia, dyslexia. In school I had my text books on tape.
I have been under employed for 20 years.
I am now self employed working from home.
For many years I was unhappy with myself and as a Christian.
I found an ADD group on http://www.meetup.com.
Plus I changed churches.
My church has many men”Ēs group that meet at different times.
Around 12 men meet at 6:30 AM every Thursday,
to read a book or a Bible study and pray.
Please find a group of woman that you can make friends with.
Plus find help do not go it alone.

Hi.  People are ignorant.  It’s hard to hear what they say and not let it affect us.  I hope and pray you find reliable support soon. 
God does not give up on us.  Stuff we face in life is not fair. We with ADD did not sign up for this, ask for it, want it, and we did nothing to deserve it.  Also, it is not punishment from God.  It’s evidence of an imperfect world and humanity. 
Jesus does heal.  But He did not heal everyone He met.  The “health and wealth gospel” is not truth.
Be certain of this truth:  God is for you.  God is aware;  God is there, God cares!  In my mind I know it’s true;  but my feelings may never reflect this.  It’s okay to be angry with God.  But don’t stop communicating with God. 
I’m a pastor of a church.  People in similar situations have shared with me that marathon times of crisis are hell.  But they’ve endured due to the right kind of help and with supportive friend(s) who will just listen as they rant.  I pray God will provide helpful agents to come along side you as you keep going.

Hey Monica,

You are such a brilliant thinker! It is great to see a young woman of color thinking about important things. Hang on until March 2nd - almost there!

Besides the oppression you receive as a person of color there is also societal oppression towards women and young adults, not to mention people with health problems. It sounds like you could use a support group - any kind would do for now until you find the right combination of factors.

Clearly, you know who you are and what you want to do. The passion and life experience you have will contribute to you being a wonderful advocate, in whatever form the work takes.

You don’t have to make any decisions or justify anything you do to anyone. But do hang on - there are so many of us out here rooting for you!

You are welcome to contact me if you need someone to listen to you now and then.

Be well and keep us updated please!

great post mimigibs.  useful, honest and sensitive.

I don’t think Jesus or meds can help this one…