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With my son I can see that he does not mind because he can’t control his impulses.  Plus his mind is going so fast that he doesn’t even remember what the things was to mind about.  So hard and sad for them.  People keep saying it gets better with age so we will see.  My son was put on meds at 4 1/2 due to lack of safety which came along with not minding.

I have a 6 YO girl and a 4 YO girl, both ADHD. Neither are medicated right now but our older daughter has a much easier time behaving now that she is older. Our 4 YO has a very, very hard time behaving and is very defiant. We are about to try meds because I felt like I was having a nervous breakdown dealing with her tantrumming for an entire day.  Good luck.

The “not minding” part sounds like the impulsive component for ADHD, a huge pitfall for my son. He’s much much better now (7 years old). I just stuck to my guns with clear and simple consequences that I always followed through on. He listens much better now - all I have to do is start counting, lol. As for school, he’s also much better behaved than he was in previous years.

I believe discipline and structure should start at home - you can’t send them to school and expect the teacher to take care of it (they’re much too busy with a class full of kids). My son minds the teacher because I ensure that he minds me. (His diagnosis is ADHD combined type, & he’s not on any meds). He was worse when he was younger though, so hang in there - it may be the same for your daughter. How old is she?

TJF - my son’s impulsivity created safety issues too. I decided to see if I could make it through without meds (I did). I watched him like a hawk (it was EXHAUSTING) and took additional measures to ensure his protection. We had a hook high at the top of his bedroom door so he couldn’t leave his room at night. This necessitated leaving a potty in his room during potty training, which many parents understandably might find more distasteful than risking the side effects of meds. We each make the choices that work for us. When we were out in public I held his hand and also made him wear a wrist strap for when he would pull his hand free from mine.

We had baby gates everywhere - at one point we had nine - all through the house. We even had the furniture rearranged so that valuable and dangerous items were blocked off. My friends, the ones with the “normal” kids, thought I was nuts. I challenged them all to take him home even for one week and see how well they hung on to their sanity.

I warned his preschool teachers. I WARNED them. LOCK THE DOORS. They of course didn’t listen, until he tried escaping. No problem, because after I’d dropped him off I waited outside the unlocked doors and was able to grab him when he tried to flee. They were very apologetic and locked the doors after that.

He wasn’t a bad or defiant child - he just couldn’t resist and couldn’t help himself. You all know what that’s like!

Still, we made it through. Vigilance, vigilance and more vigilance, and lots of clear, simple consequences that were always followed through. It was NOT EASY, and I wondered many times why I had to have the kid who was a human hurricane while all of my friends had “normal” kids.

Here we are, at 7 years old, grade two, and no meds (ever). He’s MUCH MUCH better. He’s like a different kid.