ADHD in Women
Hello, I am really new at this. I have used ADDitude several times to get information but not to share. However, I need some advice. My name is Kelly. I have ADHD, my sister has Down’s, I am a special education teacher and my mother is an instructional assistant for an ED program.
I have a hard time with relationships. Especially ones that involve a lot of alcohol. I do take meds (for mine and everyone else sanity hahaha!). I am not new to the drug and alcohol life…. I have been clean from drugs for over 12 years (hence the teaching position) and I drink socially (I don’t have alcohol at home).
I have had several unhealthy relationships in the past. This summer I began dating someone for the first time in 12 years (yes my last was a nightmare - not normal). It started with a bang. He is fun, caring and has many great qualities. We also share having a disability - he has bipolar disorder.
Now seeing that I have lived with it, I work with it, my sissy has Down Syndrome, and my dad is undiagnosed but I know he has ADHD I am not new to what that all entails.
We fight constantly. Always when drinking. I point it out and I even make suggestions for both of us. When he drinks he is MEAN. When I drink I retaliate and I have smacked him several times. Granted one would say his words deserve it, but no one deserves to be physically assaulted. Not drinking I just walk away or leave.
Its been two months. Finally I said enough but he keeps coming back. I know he is sincere but I know deep inside it will continue to happen if we (as individuals) don’t get help. I relented twice and both times he starts an argument. I almost think he likes it or he needs it. By that time I have had a drink and it is hard for me to focus and reel myself in. Today he wanted to see me. Against my better judgement I said ok. He said he didn’t care what it took, he loved and respected me and would do anything to try. Again I end up home in tears. Professing I am tired of being hurt.
I know what needs to be done. However I find it hard when I too share similar symptoms and am not an angel either.
Please. Any advice??
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