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Parents of ADHD Children

Daughter unaware of how she looks.

We’ve been battling this for a long time - 12 - yr - old daughter seems to be unaware of her physical image.  Just got a note today from her teacher that she bent over in front of the class and mooned everyone - thankfully, no one said anything.

This happens all of the time.  I’m constantly telling her to “pull your pants up.”

I’ve even gone to leggings with longer shirts/tops - she acts unaware that her behind is showing.

Any ideas?

This also goes for hygiene - totally unaware until I make her “fix” whatever (no deodorant, washing hair, body, etc.

Replies

Routine.  That is the only fix for folks with ADD to do things that do not stimulate their brain.  Routine. 

This may seem not related but my husband has ADD (I also have a daughter with ADD) and he is really good at doing things that give him some sort of pleasure - he likes to look good so he is always well kempt, he likes to do dishes and laundry because for him they are relaxing.  So for him doing these things are part of his routine, his habit.  But when we got cats and HE wanted them to be exclusively indoor cats I agreed under the condition that he clean the cat box.  Flash to 12 years later and I finally realized that it was never going to get done unless it became a part of his regular routine.  A habit.  We are still working on it, but I enlisted his therapist and we have had many discussions about it and how he can incorporate it into his routine… it is not quite a habit yet but much better.

It is a process.  ADD kids are not command/comply kind of kids.  I bet you can’t even say “Go brush your teeth and expect it to be done right away” so you have to find a way to help her incorporate her own hygiene into just what she does before she leaves the house.
Best to you.

Posted by YellaRyan on Nov 13, 2013 at 1:20am

@ YellaRyan
Can you give examples of how you put something in their routine?  My brain isnt connecting to another approach other than the same old ask/nag routine that I’ve been using without results.

Posted by momtodom on Nov 13, 2013 at 3:07am

Love your reply YellaRyan.  I’ll have to try making things more “routine” for my ADHD son.

Thanks,

Posted by staypositive on Nov 13, 2013 at 3:49am

Definitely agree with routine!  I’m just not sure how to impart the fact that it’s not nice to let your pants slip down “aka Plumber style.”

Lots of encouragement and praise go a long way - but focusing on this is perplexing.  When I asked her about the incident today, she was really embarrassed, insistent that she is trying (although it is a continuing problem).  I want to cry for her - such a beautiful girl and she’s so disconnected.

Posted by bethlehem57 on Nov 13, 2013 at 5:06am

It sounds like a lack of awareness and possibly also poor social skills, both very common with ADHD. My son is kind and compassionate toward others, but completely unaware of how his actions affect others, from being in their personal space to monopolizing conversations.

I think you are on the right track with making sure she has clothing that won’t expose private areas when she moves, since she is not aware when it happens. Most blue jeans now are super low rise, which notoriously exposes your butt when you squat down - avoid them for sure. Since she doesn’t have the awareness, give her a strategy to deal with it.

You say she should be able to notice the issue, but that could very well not be the case. My son barely noticed sensory stimuli, including pain, before he took medication for ADHD. She may honestly not feel the air on her skin.

Penny
ADDconnect Moderator & Mom to Tween Boy with ADHD and LDs

Posted by adhdmomma on Nov 13, 2013 at 7:10pm

I completely agree with adhdmomma, I also don’t notice sensory stimuli so when I go to the store I make sure to wear higher waist pants with a belt so they don’t slip down.  Also full coverage underware and a longer shirt/large sweatshirt.  If I was skinnier I would wear a belt with a tucked in shirt to prevent exposure.  I only started noticing this with myself so that means my butt was hanging out for about 46 years lol.

Best bet, grab a belt for her, no matter what size she is a belt will keep things up and proper

Posted by BexIssues on Nov 13, 2013 at 7:18pm

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