Parents of ADHD Children
Dishonesty issues, at home and at school, plus other issues
I need advice once again from this wonderful group of real-life experts.
My son (ADD, dyspraxia, written expression disorder), 11, is having definite effort issues at school. He is in a charter Montessori, which is great in some ways, but not so great because of the self-motivational nature of Montessori schools. He isn’t making nearly enough effort to get his work done on a daily basis, so, of course, the teachers are not thrilled with having to prompt him to stay on task. They have to though because this is a public charter Montessori and not private.
In any case, the ongoing battles with them and trying to get them to honor my son’s 504 is one thing, but he has started being dishonest with the teachers, which is another thing entirely. They will ask him what he has gotten accomplished in terms of his daily lesson load (it’s up to the students to decide the order in which to do their work, and then they must actually get it done), and he will tell them that he just finished an assignment. When they ask to see it, he hems and haws until they finally discover that he did NOT, in fact, do the work.
He has been completing less work than the other kids because of his ADD, but also because of the total lack of drive/effort on his part. And now to find out that he’s lying to them about getting work done is certainly not putting him in a favorable light in their estimation, and I can’t blame them for being upset about this.
They told me about it today, but they didn’t offer any suggestions as far as what they plan to do about it from their end. They basically asked me what I was going to do about it. I told them that I will enforce proper behavior on my end, but I need some daily feedback from them on what he is and is not getting accomplished, which I have NOT been getting despite multiple requests, and that they also need to tackle this issue on their end since he is in school with them when this is happening.
How would you all handle this? What would you do at home to make sure your child discontinues the dishonesty? I have tried to talk to my son to figure out why he might be doing this, but it all just points to laziness, to be honest, and the fact that he’d rather NOT do some of the work. He used to be a straight A student, and he is very bright, but he just doesn’t try at all anymore. It’s almost like he just thought he’d try to do as little as possible to see if he could get away with it.
He has absolutely NO self-motivation, despite his enjoyment of many subjects when we work on things together and when I help him do special projects. He just won’t do the work unless someone forces him to do so. This lack of effort is probably going to eventually get him kicked out of this particular school, and he LOVES it there and doesn’t want to leave. He knows they are less than thrilled with him, and he says he’ll turn it around, but he doesn’t.
So, what would you do at home to help this situation, and what would you say to the teachers? What can be done to motivate an otherwise highly intelligent kid who refuses to make any effort at all?
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