Just Diagnosed With ADHD (Adults)
FINALLY at 43 they listened. But now, the teenager.
I love all these resources and there certainly is some good tips out there. Addressing, improving and trying to stop looking at the big picture is my desire. I want to get proactive in my changes and I see it’ll be my full-time job. My husband is slowly coming around. I’m just thrilled he has finally expressing some compassion and acceptance that what I’ve been saying isn’t my laziness or that I’m filled with excuses. However, he can’t relate. He’s such a detail oriented, organized on-top-of-it guy. Military Officer, loves his structure. We are living overseas so it’s not like I can hire a life-coach.
One anxiety comes with my 15 year old, entering the 10th grade. She has it, I saw it at two years old but I was poo-pooed until she was in 3rd grade. With her learning issues I had her tested and they gave her the umbrella diagnosis of mild dyslexia/dysgraphia and that grand ‘ol “working memory disorder”. “Of course” they told me it wasn’t ADD/ADHD because she was a calm and pleasant child.
I see so many things out there that can help her but I don’t have the energy to see if she follows up and she doesn’t share my same enthusiasm for wanting to improve her condition. I’m definitely going through “IF I KNEW THEN WHAT I KNOW NOW” scenario. It’s the start of the school year soon. Her year can be so much better. However, I feel like I won’t have the energy and focus for myself and to help her at the same time. Her dad, again is becoming accepting but cannot relate and just kinds of shrugs.
I am looking for perspective if anyone has a similar situation. I’d love my daughter to take herself seriously and for her attitude with the condition to be different.
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Replies
When I was recently diagnosed as ADHD at the age of 55 and the doctor explained how it manifests itself differently in individuals, I cried in relief. I finally understood why problems/strengths in my life were so inconsistent.
My boyfriend also has ADHD but it is very different from mine. In fact, in many ways, we have almost opposite issues. He was diagnosed with ADHD about 10 years ago, yet he refuses to believe it. Instead, because of some test he took, he believes he has a very low IQ instead. There’s no question that he doesn’t have a low IQ and for someone on the outside looking it, it’s very obvious that he has ADHD. Yet if I try to have a discussion with him about it, he gets very angry. It just boggles my mind.
I feel the pain.
I was diagnoised early this year. Nobody really believes it, but thats ok. After an attempt last year to get my 15 year old son in to get evaluated, I got resistance and nothing but road blocks. Now I’m getting my son in again to the Doctor, and going through the process. More resistance and nay-sayers. Funny how through the school year he struggles and many of his grades are D’s and low C’s…. everything is on him to buckle down and work harder and then lay the guilt trips on him. In the Dr office for eval. its different, now he’s just like any other boy…. nothings wrong, grades are ok….so on and so on. It cant work if everyone is not on board. Life is tough right now. Two people in the house with this damn crap and no one believes you.
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