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Parents of ADHD Children

Frustrated mother

Hello everyone this is my first time in the blog.. Thank you in advance for any advice…. I have a 8 year old son who has had ADHD for 3 years now.. He is being treated with medication, which has helped a lot in school, but they still want to retain him in second grade. Is this good for a child with ADHD?
My husband and I have a constant battle with him. Homework is never done in a timely matter. I have tried breaks and reward system, but nothing seems to work. He always have to go to the bathroom, or he wants a snack or even he’s tired.  He’s never happy, he feels like he not loved and actually has said we hate him.. He has a lot of melt downs.. I never thought it would be so hard. Does anyone have any advice?

Replies

Have you tried requesting a 504 or an IEP? My 8 year old son also has learning disabilities when it comes to all of the subjects reading, writing and math he also has visual perception. He is going into 3rd grade and is at at a reading level of a 1st grade and his math level is 2nd grade. He has an IEP and we also have accomodations set for him. This coming year he will be in special ed. I don’t believe in holding a child back. If a child has a real learning disability holding them back is not going to help. Kids with ADHD already feel bad about themselves and holding a child like that back will only do more harm than good.

Posted by Chelley on Jul 21, 2014 at 2:44pm

We were told that holding a child back will only do more harm than good for 5 years. I finally put my foot down and demanded that my son be retained in 4th grade. My husband and I both agree that it was the best decision we ever made for him and wish we’d done it years earlier. My son was thrilled with the decision—school and social issues were eating him alive. Because he’s also gifted, the school didn’t want to hold him back. I’m a firm believer that retention is what is best for the child in certain instances—it sure was in our case. That was two years ago and my son actually has self-confidence and some real friends, where before he always talked about being stupid and having no friends (and he was always bullied).

My son also has an IEP and receives accommodations and services for ADHD and Dysgraphia.

Here’s some info on the difference between 504 Plans and an IEP: http://www.additudemag.com/slideshow/3/.

Here’s a sample letter to request testing to start the process: http://www.additudemag.com/resources/free-downloads/10216.html/sample-accommodations-request-letter. As well, ADDitudeMag.com offers a sample 504 Plan for ADHD: http://www.additudemag.com/resources/free-downloads/10217.html/sample-504-plan.

Trust your parental intuition when advocating for your child. My intuition told me to ask about retention every year, but I always deferred to the school’s advice, “He’ll catch up.” I realized time was running out to do it and finally put my foot down.

Penny
ADDconnect Moderator, Author & Mom to Tween Boy with ADHD and LDs

Posted by adhdmomma on Jul 21, 2014 at 5:30pm

I was just stating what my experience has been. I was held back in kidergaden and 3rd grade because I had petit mal seizures and I was falling behind. It did not help me I am still at maybe a 3rd grade math and 6th grade reading. The other children used to make fun of me and I felt really bad because no matter how hard I studied with my tutor I was still receiving F’s. I know each child is different. My son is a lot like me and so I know holding him back will not help. We have talked and he is ok being placed in special ed this year. His teachers told me he eventually might not need special ed.

Posted by Chelley on Jul 22, 2014 at 5:56pm

It sounds like you have a “missing link” somewhere.  I think he may have LD’s that you have to know about to remediate them.  If he has LD’s, retaining him won’t help.

I have been through the homework battles, and I won’t do it anymore—it makes you the “bad guy” when that is the last thing you need to be in supporting your son.

Penny provided some links to get started.  I think that is a good starting point at this stage.  Trust your instincts, advocate for your son and don’t give up!  Good luck!

Posted by Pdxlaura on Jul 26, 2014 at 4:24am

I want to thank all of you for your responses. they have all been very helpful. It’s nice to know that I am not by myself out hear. Thank you again

Posted by Triana on Jul 31, 2014 at 7:13pm

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