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good story, can relate. When I sit down to dinner with my husbands family it’s shear chaos. They repeat the same story over and over and over like it’s the first time, and wonder why I’m so fricken’ board! Then on top of it all the TV has to be blaring while this LOUD , out of control conversation is going on. It’s just crazy.

Posted by JK on Aug 23, 2014 at 8:52am

this isn’t simply ADD. conversational styles vary significantly. your wife’s family appears to use ‘overlapping’ and repeating the same story over and over may have less to do with being entertaining than using a familiar rerun as a way to reaffirm affiliations. check this book for more info on the subject of conversational styles. http://faculty.georgetown.edu/tannend/book_thats_not_what.html
The movie my big fat greek wedding had 2 scenes of ‘meeting the family’. His WASP parents and their quiet dull one at a time way of chatting and her Greek boisterous vibrant and admittedly frenetic and turbulent family showed such contrasts due to cultural patterns. I couldn’t take a steady diet of either style. One would bore the crap out of me and the other send me into overload and running for peace and quiet.
What you grow up with primes you for what is ‘normal’. other regional or ethnic styles may appear rude, cold, dull, frenetic, and uncomfortable to be around. Gender and ethnicity, social status, purpose of the conversation, all have ‘hidden rules’ that influence the style and content of conversations. My Polish relatives had more of the rapid fire overlapping frenetic style and my southern WASP relatives had a hard time adjusting. The frenzy of visiting the aunt and uncle with 9 kids, and half the neighborhood kids running in and out would send me into overload but being bored by the WASPs wasn’t fun either. It’s not all ADD.

Posted by Gadfly on Aug 23, 2014 at 2:38pm

My partner goes mad about how my family rabbit on and he sits sullen in back of car. Then we watched a programme on penguins and they groom and chatter to one another to reestablish bonds when meeting again after long times apart. Now i just need to whisper penguins and it helps.We’re the non-ADHD side.

Posted by hilaauk on Aug 26, 2014 at 11:38pm

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