Couples With One ADHD Partner
Grr! Husband always reminding me of things I am about to do!
This is really frustrating for me, and I am not sure what to do! I have ADHD and while I do have a tendency to be forgetful sometimes, I am pretty high functioning in that department.
Due to those times that I have forgotten to do things, my husband seems to be hypervigilant about reminding me to do things…it happens often and usually when I am just about to do what he is reminding me of!!! Try as I might, I just can’t muster a submissive “yes dear”, because I feel the need to let him to know that I was already “on it”, so it is usually a forced smile whilst letting him know I was about to do it, or a strained “im on it”, trying to be as calm as possible, but seething inside.
So when it happened again today “did you remember to put the sugar out for the oatmeal?”, it clicked why I get defensive and feel the need to tell him that I had remembered ), so I calmly had a discussion with him that I feel that my dignity and confidence is being undermined every time he reminds me to do something I had remembered….and then HE got defensive! If his confidence in me wasnt undermined due to past times that I have forgotten, he wouldnt need to remind me, and that he doesnt care if I remembered or didnt remember, he just cares about the outcome, so I should just go get whatever he is asking for and be done with it.
Does anyone else have experience with this? What has worked? I dont like feeling defensive, but it also really affects me!
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