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ADHD in Boys

HELP! 14 year old son with ADHD sexual curiosity

My 14 year old son was diagnosed with ADHD and cognitive delay when he was 5.  We have been thru the gambit of meds and he has been on Vyvanse for 2+ years and this seems to work for school and he is not overly angry or violent.  However, the last 6 months have been HELL!  In August, we had gone shopping for back to school clothes and my 11 year old daughter had wanted to go to the craft store in the same strip mall, I told the kids that I would pay for the clothes and meet them next door.  When I got to the craft store, I only found my daughter.  We start looking for my son and went in the big box store in the same strip mall where I was met by store security telling me that they received a complaint from a parent of a girl about the same age as my daughter that he had come behind her, put his hands on her shoulders and then slapped her butt.  Security followed my son and watched him go up behind a college aged girl and grab her around the waist.  I was able to convince them not to call the police, my husband is a police officer.  When we got in the car, I noticed a DS game and asked my son about it and he admitted to stealing it.  So we went back in the store so he could return it and apologize.  We talked to him about not touching others and personal space and that he could have been arrested and taken to juvenile court.  About a month later, I got a call from my sister asking if my son had my cell phone because she had gotten some sexually explicit text messages from my number.  When I checked my phone there were several sexting messages sent, some were to my boss’s husband.  When asked, my son admitted freely that he had sent them.  We explained to him that it’s not okay and that I could lose my job for things like this.  Last night was the last draw…he apparently came into my bedroom and took my phone around 2am and was sexting and calling 2 teachers and 2 people we camp with along with taking pictures of his penis.  My husband has had the sex talk with him and explained what are appropriate ways and places to express his sexual needs but he doesn’t seem to be listening.  I am so humiliated and embarrassed having to call these people and apologize.  I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!


I don’t have any advice except to get him some counseling.  My son is 11 and is aware more of sex than others his age.  I keep the open line of communication and if he has questions, open them freely.  I haven’t experienced this yet with him.  Good luck.

Posted by knrdodd on Dec 07, 2013 at 12:13am

First, password lock your phone. Second, if he gets in trouble again, don’t bail him out. He’ll never take it seriously if he knows he’s never getting in trouble because his parents always bail him out.
What were his consequences? Is he in therapy? I have a 13 year old with ADHD and although he’s not perfect, he’d never do those things because he knows better and he knows he’d have to live with the consequences and I won’t be bailing him out. Being curious is normal but it sounds like he needs far not monitoring than he’s getting.

Posted by adhdmom2000 on Dec 07, 2013 at 12:22am

Sounds like a tremendous cry for help.  And a response might be to let him see for himself what really happens to the poor who don’t have parents to bail them out.  First step is jail, which is just a school for criminals.  He’ll come out far worse than when he went in, so don’t ‘let him experience the consequences of his actions’ if he’s doing what you’re saying.  A poor family would already have their child in jail.  Counseling is imperative, and up the drugs.

Posted by alicecbrown on Dec 07, 2013 at 1:17am

You need to talk with his doctor about this immediately ,  sounds like his medications need to be adjusted or changed.  Sounds to me like he has adapted to his current meds and the adhd has taken over.  His brains in adhd non medicated overdrive style. My nephew Pat started acting this way and his doctor said he was also bi-polar (not saying your child is, just an example) Pat was about 17 and out of no where he was completely out of control. Took him off adhd meds and tried out the bi-polar, kids bodies change and so does their incredible brains.

Hang in there it’ll get better, wish I had the answers because your in a tough situation and my heart goes out to you and your family.

Posted by BexIssues on Dec 11, 2013 at 7:09am

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