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Parents of ADHD Teens and Young Adults

HELP!!! 21 yr. old grandson has 17 yr. old girlfriend
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My grandson has his 2nd girlfriend-first was online only. This one lives approx. 15 min. away.  The only problem other than age difference is she also has ADHD, social anxiety, history of cutting herself, says exactly what is on her mind(first time she met family to include cousins who have mixed race toddler. Laid down in the middle of family room floor while everyone else seated on couches, and chairs. Made a big fuss about wanting to see dogs(told her several times they do not take kindly to new people, but just kept on, and on. My g-son has ADHD, and LD, and is very immature. Anything she says do-he jumps up like a little puppy. She saws she has a boa-constrictor who she lets bite her????  I question many things she says. My g-son is in LOVE. Do I speak to her Mom ( I have met for brief period of time) and discuss some of my concerns. I do understand some of her challenges ( my grandson has lived with us for quite a few years). I would like for them to have a healthy relationship, but am concerned she is going to run over him, as that would be easy to do considering how bad he wants a girlfriend. from what she has told my g-son she has not had an easy life and my heart does go out to her. I want to have her to my house, but not like it was yesterday. Please help as I do not want to hurt anyones feelings, but I don’t know if my nerves can take many visits like yesterday. please forgive the long post, but I am at a loss here. Thank you so much, Sharon

Replies

***I highly encourage you to post this question to ADDitude’s new discussion forums, as well. I think your question would get a lot of attention in the Teens & Young Adults forum:  https://www.additudemag.com/forums/forum/parenting-adhd-kids/teens-young-adults/. ADDconnect is transitioning over to this new forum now.***

I wonder if her behavior at your house will improve over time. She could have been very anxious around new people, and that can often lead to unwanted behavior like that. She may calm down once she gets comfortable with your family.

I don’t think it’s a bad thing to have a casual chat with her mom about their relationship. My concern would be that he’s 21 and she’s still a minor. He could get into very hot water on that front, legally.

Penny
ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

Posted by adhdmomma on Jun 21, 2017 at 1:17pm

Penny, Thank you for your reply. I don’t know what my problem is, but I am not sure how to post this to the new forum. I looked at it, but could not find where I could post a new topic. Thanks again for your your reply. Being a 67 yr, old Gma, raising a 21 yr. old grandson can be a handful. Ha, ha. Sharon

Posted by johnh12345 on Jun 23, 2017 at 1:22pm

Did you sign up for an account on the new forum? Your login here doesn’t work over there so you need to create a new one. Then you should be able to post to: https://www.additudemag.com/forums/forum/parenting-adhd-kids/teens-young-adults/.

Penny
ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

Posted by adhdmomma on Jun 23, 2017 at 1:35pm

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