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Parents of ADHD Preteens

HELP me help my adhd son

I am a mother of three. A 12 yo ds who has adhd odd and anxiety (if not more), a 5 yo dd and a 4 mo ds. My 12 yo lived with my mother from age 2 to 8, she kidnapped him and it took me that long to find them. In an attemped to keep him happy my mother let him do whatever he wanted whenever he wanted. Now i am dealing with a child who is hormonal, adhd, and so very angry that he was “taken” from a house where he got everything he wanted to come live in a home with rules, and siblings. I can’t always tell what is adhd/odd, and what is him used to getting his way and anger now that he’s not. I have thought it’ll get better, he just has to get used to rules, but it seems like his behavior has only gotten so very much worse in the past three years. Anytime he doesn’t get his way he breaks my things or hurts his sister. He is made to go to his room with his things and away from his sister when he doesn’t get his way until he calms to avoid hurting her. I’ve been told life gets better with an adhd child as they get older, is there hope for us? He is in therapy, single and family, takes medication. Does anyone have any suggestions?


It sounds like he has ODD as well….which is incredibly challenging.  That may be why your mom gave him everything he wanted…to avoid the melt downs.  I hope he is just getting used to the new rules, for your sake!!  Best of luck!

Posted by TraciL on Mar 16, 2014 at 6:39am

He has been through a LOT of turmoil and transitions. I would imagine he’s traumatized and has a lot of anxiety. You said he’s in therapy and that’s what I would have suggested. Read the book, “The Explosive Child” by Ross Greene as well—my son is not explosive but I found this book most helpful in dealing with his ADHD and behaviors of any of the books I read on ADHD.

Dr. Greene also did an ADHD Experts webinar with and you can listen to the archive here: I found his approach extremely successful.

ADDconnect Moderator & Mom to Tween Boy with ADHD and LDs

Posted by adhdmomma on Mar 17, 2014 at 6:02pm

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