New Issue!

Spring 2017 Issue ADDitude magazine Read the 'ADHD Therapies That Work' issue now!

The New ADDitude Forums Are Live!

Reach our full community by posting to ADDitude's discussion forums here

ADHD in Women

Hello, I'm New

Hi, I’m ayumi9696, a teen with ADD. It’s nice to meet all of you.

Until recently, I was afraid there was something wrong with me. You see, I was raised by a narcissistic mother, a mother who demands and punishes in exchange for love that should be unconditional. I always felt empty when it came to my mother, and whenever I hear soppy mother-daughter stories, I feel like crying. When my mother found me hurting myself on my birthday, all she did was call me crazy.

Narcissists are unable to empathize with people or care about anyone else more than themselves, something I confused with attention deficiency when it came to conversations. I struggled to listen and share the other person’s feelings, but I couldn’t. I was terrified it meant I was like my mother: superficial and petty. I was terrified I would turn out like her, who used fear to control me, always reminding me that no one else in the world loved me but her.

I was relieved to discover this wasn’t due to a lack of empathy, but ADD. I wasn’t a bad person; I just had some difficulties paying attention.

I have never been diagnosed with ADD, maybe because of my good grades. I was good at memorizing things, but I had a hard time sitting down and studying, or I would find my mind had drifted off while the teacher was talking without even realizing it.

Again, it’s nice to meet you all, and I hope we can be friends in the future.


Hi , I’m Lilapsophile, I’m an adult who has ADHD Inattentive Type. ADHD was very tough when i was in school. I could never pay attention in school and i took medication for it. the doc i had back then didn’t tell me what i had, she didn’t think i would understand it. I grew up thinking i was defective but i’m not!.i was bullied, also. the best thing i ever did for myself was start karate. I met wonderful people, people who were accepting of who i am, and i blossomed. I am now pretty much happy.

Posted by Lilapsophile on Dec 13, 2013 at 10:48pm

Great to meet you, Ayumi and Mitzi! smile

Posted by Lilapsophile on Dec 13, 2013 at 10:48pm

Hi Ayumi, there is nothing wrong with you!! It’s so important that you believe and understand this. I wasn’t officially diagnosed with ADD until I was having problems in college that could no longer be ignored. I grew up believing there was something really wrong with me because I wasn’t like other kids, and my mom was also very hard on me regarding my differences. My advice to you would be to learn all you can about ADD and what works best for you. It’s a learning process but just knowing what’s causing your differences or difficulties can help a lot. Talk to your doctor about medication because it may help you, and it would be helpful if you have other trusted adults who you can talk to about this as well. I now have several advanced degrees and am successful professionally. I’m not saying life will be easy because we’re living in a world not designed for us, but if you can educated yourself about ADD and surround yourself with supportive, understanding people it will be much better. Best wishes to you!!

Posted by JodyB on Dec 27, 2013 at 11:30am

Reply to this thread

You must be logged in to reply. To log in, click here.
Not a member? Join ADDConnect today. It's free and easy!

Not a member yet? Join here »

Search the ADDConnect Group Discussions