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Help!

Hello…
It’s my first support group! My husband has ADHD and we’ve been married 10 years now. He is taking amphetamine salts prescribed by a general practitioner. They are not working (although he thinks they are). I need to find someone in my area (Fayetteville PA) that specializes in ADHD, we are now over $100,000. In debt and I am at the end of my rope. I love my husband and need to help him. I won’t bore you with the details of how bad life has become…I’m sure you have heard it (and lived it) all before.
Thank you so much for any help and or advice you can give….

Replies

Well, I doubt you can truly judge what is “working” for your husband. The drugs are doing something to alleviate some symptoms, and they take care of the most bothersome ones - but not the behaviors that make for problems in life. So don’t get into that battle with your husband. It will only make things worse.

My husband did a year long course of Play Attention which he called “life changing”. The only result of this year of therapy was that he went from being able to focus on only a paragraph or two of reading at a time to being able to get through an entire book. Yes, life changing for him! But did nothing to curtail his spending!

If you are in debt I suspect some of that was bad decisions on the part of your husband? Somehow you have to get control of all your finances yourself. And get him to give up all credit and debit cards. Whatever you do financially in the future to get out of this situation he will have to learn new habits if spending. If he must have spending money get him cash each week. Consider bankruptcy, maybe you go see a financial counsellor. You are not alone in your struggles. Many spouses have experienced these financial stresses. You can get to some equilibrium but you will have to take the reigns. Don’t wait for him to find out what to do or it will never happen.

Posted by YellaRyan on Jul 28, 2014 at 4:13pm

Thanks YellaRyan. I’m really looking for an ADHD specialist in my area. Do you know of any listings or websites I can check out?
Thanks!

Posted by Kedar1 on Jul 28, 2014 at 4:43pm

YellaRyan,
I wanted to make clear that when I said that my husbands meds are not working but he thinks they are, I actually can judge what is working for him better than he can sometimes. As I’ve read in many other posts and in books it seems to be very common that the person with ADD isn’t even aware of the effects the meds are having on them, wether positive or negative. There are some positive results with his meds but other areas that have been made worse.
I’ve read about countless couples that have found the right meds for their ADD spouse and although it didn’t make things perfect, they were able to live much better lives. Personally, I’m going to keep searching and hope that we will be lucky enough to find a better life too. smile

Posted by Kedar1 on Jul 31, 2014 at 4:58am

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