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Help For Parent of ADHD Child


I am a 51 year old grandmother raising TWO ADHD granddaughters ages 9 and 7. They are driving me NUTS, especially the older one. At my age I don’t have the patience and tolerance I use to have when I was younger. Every day it’s something with her and I find myself more and more not wanting to even be around her because I can’t deal with her ADHD. I need some advice on books that I can read that will help me deal with ADHD, symptoms and what to expect with her. Sometimes (alot of times) it’s almost like she doesn’t have a functioning brain in her head!! Any advice or guidance would be appreciated. Thanks!!

Replies

I can imagine that it is very hard for you to be raising 2 grandchildren with ADHD…and yes, sometimes it does seem like kids with that disability do not have a functioning brain.  But they do, and they also have redeeming qualities that are always there, just harder to see sometimes.  You definitely need support. 

Most communities have support groups called “grandparents raising grandkids”, which might offer you some support and help you feel like your struggles are normal.  Of course, if your granddaughters are not receiving therapy, they should be, so that they can learn skills to help them cope with their ADHD (and you can too).  Always do your best to utilize support through the school system.  Many of them offer parenting classes and you should get to know the school counselor.  Make an appointment with her and find out what suggestions and books she can use with the girls. 

Lastly, there are many good books on the market to help you understand ADHD in children.  Two authors that are excellent are Daneil Amen and Russel Barkley.  You can look at their books on Amazon and see which one’s appeal to you.  Also, Barkley has a lot of videos on You Tube that you can watch for free that explain the ADHD brain.  This would be a faster way to get you some answers. 

Good luck!  You are doing an amazing thing by providing you grand girls with a stable home.  Just take care of yourself first and get some support!

Posted by Kellie on Jan 04, 2014 at 9:13pm

Hi,

I am a single parent and a couple of years older than you with 2 ADHD daughters..one is ‘over the top’ and has ODD and a mood disorder as well.  We have a wonderful team of therapists and psychiatrists that work with both of my children to give us some harmony.  I would encourage you to seek out therapists and psychiatrists.  I don’t know if you believe in medicating them but I could not survive without it.  A therapist could help you work on behavior modification as well as be a sounding board for you,

I hope you get some relief!!!!

Posted by TraciL on Jan 04, 2014 at 9:25pm

Bless you grandma! My goodness I wish I had patience all the time myself. I’m raising my own children at 48! One ADHD, one not - I can’t even imagine 2!

I would suggest you watch the video at this link. dr Barkley is a clearheaded and REALISTIC advocate and researcher of ADHD. It is long but sooooo worth the invesent of time and taking a few hours out to watch is much faster than reading - although you will do that as well I’m sure.
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=SCAGc-rkIfo

I found this video life changing, really.

Posted by YellaRyan on Jan 05, 2014 at 1:53am

I agree with YellaRyan - watch Dr. Barkley’s video.  It is titled “Essential Ideas for Parents”.  He is one of the leading experts on the topic and this video has helped me really understand ADHD.

Try to find some support groups - it helps to know you are not alone!

Posted by staypositive on Jan 05, 2014 at 2:04am

Hi,

I sympathize - I am a 50-year old mother, and my 10-year old has inattentive ADD and Aspergers. When we were having a hard time w/discipline, the school was happy to add services from a home/school liaison on my son’s IEP.  That helped with solutions and my feelings of being overwhelmed Maybe your school would do the same?

Good luck to you!

Posted by Jen3 on Jan 06, 2014 at 10:16am

I suggest the book “The Explosive Child,” by Ross Greene. My child is not explosive but this is the best book I’ve read for parenting my child with ADHD. It gives great guidance on working together to change behaviors by teaching lacking skills.

Also, there are many, many webinars on the ADDitudeMag.com site on topics you will find helpful. Visit their webinars page at http://www.additudemag.com/webinars/, and scroll down for archives.

Hang in there! It does get better with maturity a little too.

Penny
ADDconnect Moderator & Mom to Tween Boy with ADHD and LDs

Posted by adhdmomma on Jan 06, 2014 at 3:28pm

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