Your child sounds like what I am going through with my daughter. She is 11 and just started MS. I have also dealt with the forgetting assignments and this past quarter her grades have dropped. She attends a small MS and I was asked about having her receive help from SST Student Support team. At first, I did not wan her to attend because I felt it was a sigma of her being Special Ed. Yet I realized this team will help her with time management and strategies to submit work in on time. You may check her school to determine if they offer a SST group, as well as some type of time mangement and organzation skills training. My daughter is going to try this in Feb along with finding her a therapy group of girls to discuss the issues they face, since most of the ADHD info is focused on boys….  I feel your struggle everday…

Hi there:
As ADHD kids get older, teachers often become less forgiving about late or forgotten homework, assignments quickly snowball, and a child’s self-esteem and excitement about school nosedive in conjunction with her grades. That transition from elementary to middle to high school is so rough. Here are some of my favorite resources from additudemag.com… I hope they help!

Put An End to Excuses

A Homework System That Works

Just Do It: Fighting School Procrastination

Sometimes, our kids come off as not caring about school because they may be overwhelmed or are “checking out” on it. 

Overwhelm is a very common problem for all of us who have ADHD—kids and adults alike—and it can be quite debilitating.  She may be too young to be able to verbalize what’s really going on.

There are a couple things that have helped my son (now 16 1/2) a lot.  First, I am very vigilent about making sure he has appropriate accommodations in place at school and that the teachers are following them—in a very proactive but positive way (we’re all on the same team so how can we help each other).  If your child does not have a 504 plan or an IEP to support them in their education, this may be a great time to explore that.

Over time, he became more comfortable with and involved in setting up his accommodations, and now is able to better advocate for himself with what he needs. I think a lot of that comes from maturity, but some of it comes from him now understanding that we (his parents, his teachers, his guidance counselor, etc) are all on the same team and want him to succeed.  He told me at the end of the school year that he finally felt “supported.”  HUGE!

Another thing that helped a LOT (maybe for me more than him!) is that I hired someone else to help him last year.  He had a learning support teacher who was supposed to be helping him with organizaiton and time management, but he didn’t really seem to click with this teacher.  I finally caved (realizing after years that I simply cannot coach my own child!) and hired a coach to work with him and took myself out of the equation.  No more homework battles, no more nagging—it was absolutely LIBERATING!  (Again, huge for me!!)

Just a few thoughts.  Hope something in there helps!

Let us know how things are progressing.

Good luck!

Lynne Edris, ACG
Life & ADD Coach
http://www.CoachingADDvantages.com

Some things that helped in my case:

Getting her into a learning support/organizational study skills class with an understanding teacher

Getting a high school student to ‘tutor’ her - it was really just a way to motivate her to finish her homework after school and gave the HS student some community service hours so it was free

Getting a paid tutor - very expensive, not that effective because each time after a month or so my daughter ‘hated’ the tutor and wouldn’t continue

Putting her in classes that she enjoyed whenever possible

Paying for an after school activity which she really enjoyed and using that to motivate her to do the homework

Talking things over with her teachers

Talking to the school counselor

Getting a good therapist that you can both go to

Letting the smaller things go and focusing on the big picture - is she making it through her grade level but just not getting fantastic grades?  Study skills improve with maturity

Staying calm and not getting angry (I wasn’t very good at this one)

Realizing that it will be a struggle and not as easy for your child as other parents and avoiding the parents who brag constantly about their children’s good grades, fantastic SATs and wonderful college options

Woah, woah, woah there.

Don’t be angry. I suffered for years and years of my mom yelling at me because I didnt “do well in school” or “care enough.” I heard plenty of my parents saying things like “Youre just dumb, pay attention!” “You are going to end up in the fast food business if you don’t pay attention in school!” “Your future is going nowhere! Pay attention!”

Then, a few months ago: BOOM. ADD diagnosis.

Make sure you make it a point to say “*daughters name; lets go with my name; Tori* Now, Tori, did you do your homework?” “Did you organize your backpack?”
Have her come home each day and tell you one thing she learned from each class, & if she tells you something that sounds legit, give her like, a starburst or something. Heck, I’m 15 & I wish my mom did that for me!

I’m sure she cares about school, it’s just, she doesnt have the extra burst of motivation to get things done and make you proud. So she just shrugs it off.
I did.

Heres a cool thing you could do.

If she brings you home 2 tests a week with a grade you find satisfying to your standards, rent her a movie and have girls night. Or leave her a little gift basket in her pillow. Something she will want to look forward to, and she will do it as well as doing well in school.

Good luck!
Send me a message with anything. I gotchu. (;