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Just Diagnosed With ADHD (Children)

Help needed

My son has just been diagnosed less than 3 weeks ago. He is 7 and will be turning 8. My husband and are overwhelmed and we don’t know where to turn for help. We have totally lost control over our son and we are so tired of the temper tantrums, yelling, the angry words spoken by our son.
We don’t even know where to begin. Nothing seems to work. Timeouts don’t work, taking privileges away don’t help either. This is all new to us. My husband blames me for our sons behavior and under minds my discipline in front of our son. He and I are not on the same page anymore. Our son knows and sees it so he acts out because he (son) knows that dad will start under minding my efforts. Our home is in total disharmony.
tishroy

Replies

Has your son been diagnosed with ADHD or are you just looking into options? If you’re looking, learn a bit about ADHD and take him to a paediatrician or better yet, a psychiatrist who specializes in ADHD and have him evaluated. If he’s already been diagnosed, your next step is to become an expert in ADHD. Learn as much as you can. And do what you can to get your husband on board. It’s really the only way.

Posted by Rai0414 on Jul 03, 2014 at 8:41am

Hi tishroy!

Hang in there, things will get better. You and your husband will learn more about your son and his special needs, and treatment and maturity (starting at 9 or 10) will help.

@Rai0414 is right, you first must learn all you can about ADHD. Really, you need to learn all you can about the whys behind ADHD behavior and how to successfully parent a child with ADHD. I wholeheartedly recommend family therapy with someone who specializes in ADHD kids. This will help you and your husband create a united front, which will improve your son’s behavior over time.

Here are books I recommend:
Raising Boys with ADHD, Jim Forgan
The Explosive Child, Ross Greene
How to Talk so Kids will Listen, and Listen so Kids will Talk
Superparenting ADD, Edward Hallowell
If he’s hyperactive, read The Out-of-Sync Child too.

Also, if he’s hyperactive try occupational therapy. That works wonders for my son.

Here are some webinars on ADDitudeMag.com that will help with parenting strategies for ADHD. You can listen to the archive recordings:
Calm the Chaos: http://www.additudemag.com/RCLP/sub/10695.html
Manage Stress and Stay Happy in ADHD Households: http://www.additudemag.com/RCLP/sub/10679.html
Motivate Your ADHD Child: http://www.additudemag.com/RCLP/sub/10776.html

Next, structure and routine are paramount for a happy household (and ADHD success). Create routines for common daily activities. Write them out and post them for your son (add pictures if he’s more visual). Routine creates habits that help to alleviate forgetting to complete tasks, etc.

ADDitudeMag.com provides strategies and advice for creating routines for kids with ADHD in these articles:
http://www.additudemag.com/slideshow/37/
http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/1945.html
http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/683.html
http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/2536.html

As well, treatment is key. There’s a vast array of articles on treatment for kids with ADHD here: http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/2536.html.

I remember when my son was 7. It was brutal. The hyperactivity was overwhelming. I was also still in the throes of the learning curve to successfully parent a child with ADHD. Your family will find your groove. Start with education, treatment, structure, and getting everyone on the same page.

Penny
ADDconnect Moderator, Author & Mom to Tween Boy with ADHD and LDs

Posted by adhdmomma on Jul 03, 2014 at 5:21pm

I agree with everything Penny said. I also would add keep him active and get him involved in sports or martial arts. My 8 year old son is in gym and Tae Kwon Do and he loves it. Tae Kwon Do especially is good because it teaches respect. I also at home have set up reward system and that has really helped. Good Luck I hope everything works out.

Posted by Chelley on Jul 03, 2014 at 7:20pm

thank you everyone. @Rai0414 our son is newly diagnosed as about 3weeks. Our pediatrician has a counselor on board in the practice but don’t know if she specializes in ADHD.
Tishroy

Posted by tishroy on Jul 03, 2014 at 11:25pm

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