Seniors With ADHD
Helping a parent seek help
I’m not a senior with ADHD, but I and my siblings strongly believe that our mother IS. We are struggling with how to encourage her to seek help, as she is ultrasensitive and argumentative around the topic. Can anyone recommend ideas for sensitively but firmly moving her toward seeking her own diagnosis and treatment? We are at the point where we are needing to set firm boundaries around the lifelong coping strategies she utilizes, that are painful to us.
Background: my sister was diagnosed postpartum after seeking help for severe anxiety. Meds have been revelatory and life-changing for her (not sure which, but I know it’s a stimulant). Consequently, recognizing the similarities, I sought help for my teenage daughter. Behavior therapy has been revelatory and life-changing for her. Looking at the family tree, the lineage is very clear, on my mother’s paternal side. Now, so many of the lifelong challenges and struggles we have recognized both in our relationships with our mother, and her own daily challenges, seem so clearly attributable to ADHD.
She is a highly successful and charismatic woman with superhuman energy and capacity. However, she has enormous blindspots and can be like a badger in her personal relationships. Now that she is retiring, and we have a family business to transfer to our generation, we are feeling our relationships reach the fraying point, especially as our father is aging with illnesses that will require increasing attention and care. These topics, in particular, seem to trigger nearly unmanageable anxiety in her.
We strongly feel that medication may be a life-saver here. She takes Xanax to help sleep and cope but it doesn’t seem to help. Why not switch to something that might? We do broach the topic frequently, when we have the energy to battle—but how to move her toward seeking help?
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