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Single Parents Raising ADHD Children

Helping the new step-parent

I am a single mom of a 14 yo and 9yo boys, who both have ADHD.  I am also new to this scene.  I have always just dealt with my boys on my own. They are a bit overwhelming and my home is rather chaotic.  My fiance and soon to be stepdaughter are very laid back and NOT hyper.  Both of the boys absolutely adore my fiance and daughter, and vice versa.  I can see my fiance getting overwhelmed and for the first time since we got together it is taking its toll.  See we just moved in together and even though she knew what she was getting into, the reality is nothing like the visits.  Just brushing their teeth is an olympic event and by the time we are done I am the one who needs the gold medal.  I am used to it.  I can handle it and I don’t expect my fiance to take on this responsibility.  I know that she wants to help because it is exhausting to deal with, and no doubt to watch, but I know it is unfair to expect help with such things.  What I want to know is how to help her.  How do I help her see that she is not responsible for them, that I am without telling her that she can’t help.  I appreciate the back up and reminders and that is all that I really expect, but I still see the tension and worry in her face.  How do I help ease this anxiety?????  Any success stories or advice is appreciated.

Replies

Its not easy i will say my bf and i got together 5 years ago he had no kids and now we have my son who is 9 and our daughter who is 4 most of the time he just lets me take care of my son but if he sees my son being nasty towards me or giving me more of a hard time then usual then he says something but you are now a team and you have to learn together how to care for yoir children she kinda needs to learn how you handle your boys and not over step boundaries my son can be difficult at times but with doctors support games in the morning can make things a bit easier on us moms like racing against the clock to beat your time from day before usually done with a stopwatch that way it doesnt feel overwhelmed (olympics) i hope this helped atleast a little if you truly are meant to be you will find what works for you but be honest with your spouse and dont let those boys play you against each other always on same page with your spouse and proper schedule with adhd it helps them every moment of everyday samething they dont like surprises to there schedule which isnt easy at all….. Hope it helps it is all a learning process

Posted by mommyboyngirl on Dec 05, 2013 at 11:18pm

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