I have the same problem.  I always struggle to keep a clean house, so much so that I panic when someone wants to come over for a visit.  I am so ashamed that this overwhelms me but it does.  I cannot plan daily chores for my daughter to help me keep things clean.  Long term planning and even short term planning is an issue for me.  I am jealous when I go to a friend’s home and everything is neat and tidy, even the closets.  The kitchen cabinets are well organized.  The frig is clean and organized, the floors are so clean they can be eaten off.  My friend still fixes her mouth to utter, “Please excuse the mess.”  All I can think is, what mess, you have not seen a mess until you come to my house.  Sorry I do not have any advice, because I am still in a daily struggle.  I recently hired someone that advertised on craigslist to do home cleaning.  I had everything picked up so she could clean.  She put on a good performance of making it look like she cleaned up.  $100 for 2.5 hours of nothing.  The only thing she really did was vacuum the floors.  In my desperation, I let my guard down without doing my research. 
I wish I could take 2 months off from work and do nothing but get my house in order. 
I can’t press the pause button on life just because I have ADD. Alas, I am hopeful that things won’t always be this way.

I am a 41 year old who was just recently diagnosed with ADD.  I have the same problem with my house.  I procrastinate, I am disorganized, I have trouble prioritizing or sticking with a task, and I, sadly, rarely let my daughter have friends over to our house because I am ashamed of the mess.  I, too, have three dogs and two cats, which doesn’t help, and I tend to spend too much time on the computer.  I never even realized that this was related to ADD.  I have learned so much in the last month.

I am off for the summer (I teach), and I am determined to do something about my situation.  I am trying new meds that don’t seem to work, and I have been very depressed.  I realize that it’s my lack of motivation and accomplishing anything that’s caused my depression. 

I needed to clean up my house so that my daughter could have a friend spend the night.  I started cleaning my house, making up my mind that it HAD to be done.  Surprisingly, the more I accomplished, the better I felt, which encouraged me to keep going.

I have so many things I need to get done with my house.  I need things fixed or replaced, and I want it cleaned, so I have made up my mind to make myself a schedule and make sure (in addition to keeping clean whatever I have already cleaned) that I clean up one additional area or accomplish one other project each day.  This seems like a doable task to me.  After I do whatever it is that needs to be done (cleaning out closets, organizing drawers, cleaning rooms, cleaning pantries, etc), then I can reward myself by doing something I can enjoy and can do it without the guilt. 

So far, it’s working and I’m so much happier.  I was just so overwhelmed before and really didn’t know how I was going to get anything accomplished.  It was so depressing.  I’m optimistic and I’m making sure my goals I set for myself are not something that’s going to be hard to attain.  I suggest trying this strategy.  Make a list, do things you want to get done first thing in the morning, and then do something you enjoy.  It’s working so far for me.  Good luck!

Yup, yup yup. Been there, still there to a degree because ‘decluttering’ takes awhile sometimes. And then life dumps other stuff on you - like getting my home pretty decent and then my mom moves in with us and brings stuff!

Best things I have found (for me) you can try:

Schedule certain chores. It’s hard in the beginning and takes us at least 30 days to build a habit but it will become second-nature and much easier to ‘start again’ when things derail you. At first it may seem hard, but we all have ‘routines’ already, they are just inefficient. So take some time to think about how say your morning runs and then think of 1 thing to move to a different time or add that makes the day easier. For example, I found that I always went to my computer and checked email first-thing. That meant breakfast, etc. was put off for longer than it should be and it took me much longer to ‘start’ my day than it really should have. So now, I wait until after I have made breakfast and fed animals before I sit down there.

Don’t try to start more than 1 ‘new’ thing at once. Forget it. Yes, the mess sucks but it will not go away overnight no matter how much we try to wiggle our noses. :D

It’s painful but really the only way to keep things manageable is to cut down on the amount of stuff in life. That includes the # of pets we have in addition to the amount of knick-knacks, holiday decorations and hobbies. I’m guilty of the ‘too many pets’ thing, myself and I have already decided once a few of the shorter-lived ones die I am not replacing them. Feeding multiple times a day, cleaning cages - it all adds up to time from your day.

For the last few weeks I collected books and DVDs I no longer want and sold them to a second-hand store for cash, which was the reward!  I couldn’t do it all at once so I instead collected a box-load at a time and did it over several weeks making several trips to the store.  My place feels"lighter” now.  I have lots more to do but I am proud of what I’ve done already.  My success is because I did a little bit at a time.  If I had framed it that “I have to get rid of everything,” I never would have taken the first step.

I understand all of the frustrations listed above. Recently, I discovered Flylady. com.
There are certain “zones” in the home that Flylady focuses on everyday. She sends email reminders about which zone we should be working on everyday. There are also specific strategies that deal with clutter. For instance, she suggests that each zone be worked on for 15 minutes, using a timer. Check it out. I’m trying to do a little each day. The problem is that nagging feeling that I’m always behind. Check out the site and let me know what you think.

Noted all above.  Flylady is great.  The key take away from her is find a space that is a source of anxiety for you and just keep it manageable.  For flylady, it’s the kitchen sink.  For me it is a kitchen counter that is used all the time.

Peter Walsh is a great resource as well.  His two-step tango is a wonderful thing.  If you just do that, I promise you’ll feel better.  It’s easy getting overwhelmed by the wholeness of a project. Peter is wonderful about breaking things down for you to tackle the project.  The best thing is you don’t have to do all the steps at once.  Give yourself just 10 minutes on one of the steps and you’ll accomplish wonders!

I’ve found organizing a huge challenge for me.  I just take tips and bits from various systems that have worked for me and not tried to follow the whole routine.  Keeping lists of what to do has been one of the most helpful.

Good luck to you!

OMG I am not alone !!!!
My husband has ADD and I have ADHD.  Every flat surface in our house has something piled on it.  I clean off the dinning table and before the end of the day it is loaded again.  Where does it all come from???  I will read thoroughly all your comments, but right now I am at work and cannot spend the time….things are off schedule at work also…Wow the boat is not empty after all…..
Judi

My husband is a hugh procrastinator And I’m the one with ADD.  I make a list of 3-4 things to do.  I’ve learned to not beat myself up. 

You got your hands full, even without ADHD, you would have a tough time.  TIme to get some support and help .. If your clearner didn’t work, look around you can defintely find someone to help.  And have the kids help. Set a timer and make a game, use reward charts.

As much as I feel guilty writing this, my hope is to help any one of you feel less guilty and the need to be so hard on yourselves. Please hear me all the way through before judging me. I promise the message is to see the other side is not as wonderful and as organized as those homes really look, well at least no all.
I am a mother of 8, all of which have grown up and gotten lives of their own and some have their own children which brings me so much pleasure. But 1 on my children is 7 yrs old with a severe history of trauma and ADHD among all her other difficulties. She was adopted but loved by us no different than our other 7.
I have that home that looks as if everything is in perfect order, and it is, if I have control over it. Control is all I do have over it, all day, from 6 am until I drop at the end of the day, I have taken control over every aspect of my home in regards to cleaning and organizing. I make sure that nothing is out of place at all costs, and I must for it to remain in the condition I demand. It is an all day job that never ends and only grows worse never better.
It starts with a 6 am wake up call from myself to get my cup of coffee before anyone else wakes. When I have gulped the last drop and sat for the only moment I may sit for the day, it is time to rouse the child who makes it her job to destroy everything she comes in contact with or make the most unnecessary mess possible to mankind.
I make her breakfast and the other tasks involved in getting a child off to school at age 7 but she requires a few things I’m sure other children do for themselves by that age. For instance I must dress her, bathe her, comb her hair and make sure she doesn’t return with another outfit that’s unfit for school, or hair that’s been cut back to the roots, permanent marker on her face, arms and legs, toothpaste spread all over the counter in smiling faces (I’m sure they are directed at me) and toilet paper strung from one end of the bathroom to the other. These are not occasional mishaps in our home. They are her norm, and it isn’t all ADHD, some is trauma I know and some directed at her past and the people who harmed her so deeply. But I am here to take the child from there to here and show her unconditional love unlike anything she can imagine.
So she heads off to school and I begin to do the dishes, sweep and mop if needed, get busy with laundry, making the beds and depending on the day, I must do the bedding because only I know they need to be washed or I begin to see the sluffed off skin cells (lol) really my imagination runs wild. Then there is the daily tasks we all do I assume, like grocery shop, pay bills, and I have had a hospital stay lately so I am doing lots of paper work appealing a non payment of 25,000 dollars, plus trying to do my taxes I didn’t get done in April, plus we have three therapy sessions a week for my daughter and one of those is for my husband and I to help us parent this child that has so many special needs. The school day is eaten up by chores and tasks that literally leave me exhausted.
My child arrives in a Moody Judy mood daily, that takes about 60 Min’s to calm and get rearranged mentally and emotionally. Transitions are tough. I then have my dinner to begin and homework to do and that runs into bath time which she still can not do alone. That is not a control issue, I admit I have control issues but bathing my child is one chore I really would love to let her do alone but that is not possible.
My night is finished with dishes, sweeping, mopping more laundry ( usually 4 loads a day, each load takes 90 Min’s to wash dry fold and put away. Of course the bathrooms may have yet to be cleaned so I must sweep and mop each day to maintain the pristine floor I demand, then wash out the tub either quickly on a daily basis or full wash with Ajax at least twice a week if my grand kids have been here often for nightly bathing. Washing the counters and cleaning mirrors is a daily need in each bathroom, we have just installed laminate flooring throughout the house so I must sweep each day and mop every other or at least every other in the main living area. More mopping on demand if company is coming or after someone has came with lots of traffic in and out of the backyard. I have furniture that needs dusting, and table that needs washing if used for meals, waxed if washed because washing takes the shine away (dear God that could be a crisis) Yes I have a crisis if these things are not done, my world feels like it is out of control. Depression can settle in, my attitude is sharp and crabby if I have one of the above items that didn’t get done or if it did and someone made a mess. Not what a normal person calls a mess. I have my own dictionary and it is recommended that my family understand I must have complete cleanliness to maintain my sanity. As one can imagine I am pretty much insane most of the time because I can’t live under those demands and nobody else can.
I haven’t even spoke of the yard or garage, they are in my living area and are expected to remain in the same orderly fashion as my home. That’s laughable but possible I keep telling myself.
So as one could imagine with a house so tidy and organized, it takes a lot out of you, it takes lots of time, lots of hours, lots of demands, priorities that must be done each day to maintain a home that is being used daily. It must be done daily. It isn’t a once in awhile chore. If you do a once in awhile chore, you get a home that reveals what you put into it.
The thought that I want to follow this with and I do have a sane thought occasionally, is that if your not cleaning your house each day all day and making it your priority, then your making something else that priority. I hope it is your family. I can not say that. I wish I could. I wish I could spend more time playing with my child, sitting down with the hubby to enjoy a book or a movie after the child is in bed. I wish I could relax in that clean tub and soak up the relaxation that a nice bubble bath brings.
I hope you enjoy the mess ladies and enjoy every website you visit, every book you read and every child you spend time with. I am trying to learn how to let go and let the unimportant things in life go. Those things are the things that I hear some of you coming down hard on yourselves for. I really hope that you can see that inside those clean walls you see, is a very neurotic woman who really can’t enjoy any of it because she is too busy trying to keep it all clean for you to look at when you come over. It’s all nice but the road to a clean house like the one I live in, is not worth it. It has forced me into therapy on top of the three session we do alreadyfor our child, I have one just for me and my compulsive cleaning. If someone has a home that looks absolutely spic and span, take a double take at her and see if you can honestly say she has everything you want in a person. I bet she is a person in need of personal self care.
Go enjoy your life and your support is welcomed!

My house is getting better. I have add, depression, and anxiety. My hubby is ADHD and our daughter is ADHD with ODD. Our house is chaos. Check out this website. It’s helped me. There is also an FB page that’s great. http://Www.flylady.com. Good luck!!

In response to:  kilauea on Jun 09, 2011 at 10:19pm

kilauea, I just want to say May God Bless you as you have done for me and most likely others, by explaining what it’s like on the other side of the fence. I have not been diagnosed, but I sooooo fit the other stories here and have thought it many a times that I am ADD or ADHD. I believe we ALL have a disability. Probably my “greatest” disability is that I am slow at reading (even though I am good at it and do not have trouble pronouncing most words AND I am quick witted, funny and have a good amount of common sense). Somehow, I lack the ability to process things fast enough to accomplish them in a timely manner such as cleaning, decluttering, sorting papers ...or know what to do WITH the papers I am keeping, etc. It leaves me confused, overwhelmed, depressed,  de-motivated ...discombobulated and frustrated!!!  My house too is in such disarray that I do not have friends over, at least as often as I would like. I have managed to “care less” “sometimes”, but that just adds to my depression and low self-esteem. I go married two years ago June 21(2009). My husband would be thrilled if I gutted the entire house and garage and it makes me want to scream “Get Out!”. My house has no “inside storage” and every time I clear out some stuff in the garage, (like others comments) more gets added. I would LOVE to have a clean house, and spend time with my special needs son turning 21, but it takes me sooooo long to do things that I am totally exhausted doing just minimal. I don’t get this life I’m in!!  I have tried some meds, but I don’t like drugs (except Motrin) and if I don’t think they are doing anything, I stop taking them. I was taking some last Fall/Winter when I went to FL to escape the cold of MN (only to freeze there too!). I had not flown for years, but believe it was MORE the meds than not flying that caused me such EXTREME FLYING ANXIETY.  I was trying to be brave for my son sitting next to me, but every time there was a small bit of turbulence a “yelp” shot out of my mouth. I was panicking like never before!  I have not flown since, but stopped taking the meds as soon as the thought crossed my mind. I feel better in general without taking meds. Ultimately, I feel there aren’t any drugs that COULD really help me. I keep trying to find the time to research more online about natural remedies. Maybe someday when I get my ducks in a row ...they keep scattering!!!  Not that it’s a good thing, but I to, am glad I am not alone in this. It truly brings me to tears. Grateful for this site!!! 
In God We (must)Trust!  ~Yvonne

Wow…it is helpful to know someone else shares your secret…