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How med can help my son

Hi :  My son is just turn 7.  The speech pathologists, after 1 hour assessment, believe my son has ADHD.  I suspect he may have ADHD for a while so my son is seeing a naturopathic doctor.  Under the supplement, my son is a lot calmer.  Also have a better eye contact and response.  He also ( always ) average and advanced in school.  But the teacher complaint his impulsive behavior like talking in the classroom during the work, instead of going back to his desk, he go around to see his friend .etc.,    So my question is will med help a child to focus , impulsive behavior and join attention?

Replies

Yes, that is exactly what the medications are for. The way to look at medication is in the long term. If your child is impulsive, then learning coping skills will be difficult. In order for us to change behavior, we need to to be able to stop our brain and change course. ADHD people can’t slow down long enough to even recognize they are doing the inappropriate behavior! Medication doesn’t make a person or kid “normal” like someone with a normal brain but it does help the brain to work better.

So not only will you see daily changes but you will be able to teach your son ways to handle himself and most importantly, he will be able to learn. As I am sure you know, behavioral changes take a long time before they take, and even long for children. In time, he may choose not to take medication because he has had the chance to learn positive behavior which hopefully becomes habit.

My DD has been on medication for 2 years and I can’t imagine how she would handle school without it. She is now 9, turning 10 next month. I am an advocate for medication because I think it is fair to give our children every advantage we can when they are truly disadvantaged with an underdeveloped brain.

Posted by momodoodle on Apr 11, 2014 at 6:26pm

thank momodoole.  The thing is my son is learning from school every day.  That shows in his report card.  He loves to play/talk with other friends in the classroom when it is a alone work time.  He is working with a social thinking therapist to learn the positive behavior.  That why I just wonder what will the med can offer to my son?  If the med can make him “normal” like other kids in term of his focus and impulsive behavior, I will consider that.

Posted by Louisa_Leo on Apr 11, 2014 at 7:55pm

I also am a supporter of meds. My older DD (now 10) was started on meds when she was nearly 8 for very much the same behaviours your son is displaying. She was also falling behind at school which was my biggest concern. It took trying several meds until we found one which fit her well and several long months to get the appropriate dosing! She is now thriving at school, we give her med breaks on weekends, and holidays and it’s been working very well.

My younger DD ws also dx recently but at the opposite end of the spectrum (eg distracted vs impulsive) and we have also started her on meds as she too was falling behind at school. She’s been on them for a few months now and we have really started to notice a difference with her reading and writing. We are not giving her med vacations as yet as the pediatrician felt that she would do better with a full year tx before giving her a break.

They both have more confidence now and do not feel ‘stupid’ at school. Our younger DD has a twin brother who is not affected and so far has not had to try very hard at school to learn new things, so she has found that challenging.

Posted by FunTimes on Apr 11, 2014 at 7:58pm

My son is 11.  He had great grades up until about this year (grade 6).  Accommodations by his teachers in class and by us at home helped him in elementary school, but weren’t anywhere near enough in middle school.  That’s when things got harder and he was less able to cope.  He went on medication at Christmas (after a near mental breakdown), and so has been on it for about 4 months now.  Since being on the medication his anxiety has dropped, his grades have gone up and his teachers report a huge difference in him (both academically and socially).

His math grade hasn’t gone up though, and this is the thing I learned… they may be learning, but maybe not slowing down enough to learn *all* the skills.  My son is really bright.  He picks up things quickly and has a great memory and loves to read.  I think that’s why he did so well early on… he was able to listen for half a second, and then figure out how to do it on his own.  He was doing almost all of the math in his head.  Well once you hit grade 6, it becomes apparent who was learning the skills and who wasn’t.  He now has to do problems that involve many steps and showing his work, and he can’t do that.  I assumed he was learning those skills because he was getting the right answers, but clearly he wasn’t.  Now that he’s on the medication (and can slow down enough) he has to re-learn all those skills.

The other thing I didn’t realise was how much his ADHD affected him socially in class.  He’s got some good friends, he’s friendly and funny and can get along with most kids.  I thought he was fine.  His teacher told me once he was on the medication though, that the kids accepted him more.  His close friends were always his friends, but his strange behaviours in class (walking out for no reason, making comments that seemed off topic, etc.) were causing the kids who didn’t know him as well to start distancing themselves from him.  That’s tough to hear.  But she said that since being on the medication, that that was healing itself.  They were making connections and not watching him like he was a strange being.

The medication won’t help him suddenly become organised.  There are a *lot* of ADHD struggles he still needs help with even on the medication (e.g. his teacher still needs to break up tests for him, and check his planner every day, etc.) but it’s helping with the impulsiveness and helping him focus, and to just be willing to try again, where before it was getting to the point where he was just refusing because it was too hard.

Posted by Rai0414 on Apr 12, 2014 at 5:57am

Hi Louisa_Leo!

Medication will not “make them ‘normal’ like other kids.” There is no cure for ADHD. It will, however, help to come closer to level the playing field for the majority of individuals with ADHD. Remember too, these early years are formative years. This is the crucial time to ensure good self-esteem—the longer they feel bad about themselves, the harder it is to reverse that.

Penny
ADDconnect Moderator & Mom to Tween Boy with ADHD and LDs

Posted by adhdmomma on Apr 14, 2014 at 4:15pm

**edited
Sorry,  i reread what i originally wrote ...i didnt like, so i deleted it

Posted by Scott C on Apr 15, 2014 at 6:06pm

Penny hit the nail on the head! 

Our goal for parenting our kids is to make them the best THEY can be—-not like someone else.  Along with his ADHD, your son likely has some very positive character traits that other “neurotypical” children may not have to the same degree, such as empathy, creativity, out-of-the-box thinking, and intuition, to name just a few.

Medication can be a wonderful tool to enable your child to learn to do things differently and in ways that work for HIM (which he will definitely need even more as he ages and matures and life becomes for complex at home, at school, and socially).

Medication is not a cure or a fix-all, and there will still need to be a lot of work to be done, but it can definitely be a big help to many of us!

He is very fortunate to have such a proactive parent on his side who is working hard to get him the help he needs!  Kudos to you, Luisa!

Best of luck,

Lynne Edris, ACG
Life & ADHD Coach
http://www.CoachingADDvantages.com

Posted by ADD_Coach_Lynne on Apr 15, 2014 at 11:37pm

Hi Louisa

When my dd 19 (med free) was taking her meds from 11 thru 16 I saw vast improvement esp academically.  So I do feel strongly that meds do help our children stay on task.  The only comment I have is that our children are “normal”.  Adhd is there “norm”.  There will come a time when children get older that they will make decisions that will have them say as my dd said to me “I want to be my normal hyper self” and/or they will make the decision to not take their meds which all in all is ok.  With that being said all we parents can do is give them the information and help them to learn about the dynamics of adhd that they can make good decisions concerning their well being.  Our children are creative, loyal, accepting, protective, loving and a joy to be around.  I know that you will continue to help your son.

Posted by HisGrace on Apr 16, 2014 at 3:43pm

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