Couples With One ADHD Partner
How to Deal with my wife can't figure out why I am That I am
I am 41 Male just found out That I have Adult AD/HD. I had all my life because when I was a Kid I had and they stop Treating me for AD/HD. So when they told me I had and it was probably had all my life. I felt OK and fine out all the mass i got in alone and in my marriage was Problem was tribute form AD/HD .
Well that bring to my Topic. I allay put my foot in my mouth. Plus I very aloud when i get excited and anger. And she get piss at me all the time. Before I found out I had AD/HD I saw 3 therapist and a guy was treating me for bipolar, Depress, And ancety. And nothing was working and I was going for 2 years. And my wife said it not working and why you have be like This and are talking and telling them everything about your life. I sad yes I was. She said why can’t you change and try do better. I said i am and she didn,t believe me . I almint I put here through hell. I ask over and over that we should do marriage consoling and she always she didn’t need the Help and I do. Well it part true but I think we both need to work on it.
Here the latest issue that happen. I was to day when I got on my med for AD/HD and they out me on Adderall XR. Her mom was reading about it and she picking all the side affect and saying you better not beat me in joking when you on this and she keep doing it and I said can you please stop and take serious. She got Piss at me when I yell at her front of here parent.She said when you get please let do this alone with out her parents. She told this before too. She storm out the room and was piss off. I went some where and she text me stuff saying:
She said Well now after Discussing you not one person in this house talking to each other after you left.
I said Well sorry but you really hurt me with not taking this serious
She said I am I don,t want u slapping me ( she got form the side affect they talk about with Andderal) you cause allot of drama here you have no clue.
She said and if you talk or tell me front of my parent again you and me are going have big problem. meaning yelling
She said They know and here all the problem we have this is all a joke
She said Don,t you dare tell me I don’t take this serious I have bagged you 2 year to change
I said Well I will never hit you, What get me is I am trying very hard to get better But it seem like you don’t care. Only thing I am trying to say is this not a joke to me specially Trying Deal with AD/HD I want to try hard on this and to get better of this and get in to a safe place in my self. It seem you don’t want to learn about my issue and I trying and it will help if you stick with me. Yes I should done what i told you.
I really hurt me with you don’t want to deal with. I really love you and I really want to change my way, But I want u behind me every step i need to do. And I really want both of us learn how live with AD/HD together and to get to know each other better
I said I am really hurt
I said I can’t deal with this alone
She said Join the club have done 2 years of damage to me
I said I know and i am trying harder to make it better and right not sure how too
and on and on like this She also to me That i should be mad at here.I paid the bills. and keep you on track, having money coming in, and since i am working i have health insurance. She said I resurrect are marriage and leave my parents out of it
She always tell me when we irue don’t do in front of my parents. I agree with that. But when she putting me down like front here parents I can’t let GO.
So what you think I should about the issue wit not want deal why and how to deal with it. I know it hard for here too and I put here through Hell and Back.
But why she now I have and don’t want to help me through it ?
Dose get better when I take Med?
What do I need to get here to trust and believe me again?
Or am I doing the right thing yet her know how I feel?
I don’t know how mush more of the bullshit be for leave her.
Give me a good reason to not leave her,
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