Couples With One ADHD Partner
How to cope as a non add partner when the relationship ends
I am looking for advice on coping mechanisms for getting through or more importantly past a relationship as the non add partner. I was in a relationship for three years with an urn diagnosed/untreated partner with add and I am struggling with this roller coaster of emotions of what just happened?. As I have read through many of the posts, our relationship started off at 100 mph and it was amazing. I could tell and feel that I was her everything. I didn’t know what hyper focused dating was however until reading through these posts and now I am left in this dust of the relationship being over and she moving on with someone else almost overnight. The weird twist is that throughout the relationship I knew it was not going to last and we even went through a few break ups. It was the constant mess, disorganization, lack of emotion or attentiveness and difficulty with discussing/resolving conflicts towards the end that nearly drove me insane. I knew I didn’t want to be in the relationship anymore because she refused therapy, getting diagnosed and always blamed our issues on me. Then, I received a text where she declared her love for me but decided to not continue the relationship and she was gone. It has been three months now and I am a mess of emotions, pain and suffering over someone that I didn’t want to be with but cannot get over. I am so distraught at how my mind and heart have gone down this unexplainable road of shock and darkness that I feel like I am now the one that needs to be medicated. What in the world has happened to me? What is this unknown entity that has taken control of my life and how do I just forget about her and just let go. I recently found out that within days of her text she had already lined up dates, out of town trips and is already involved in a serious relationship. I cannot even imagine dating at this point given the explosion that has taken place in my world but she is free and clear and obviously has no remorse. Was I subconsciously controlled by her? Emotionally manipulated? I am simply baffled and when people ask me what happened I legitimately cannot give them an answer. It’s like the last three years were drawn out on an etch e sketch and just as the futuristic picture of our lives was coming into view, she flipped it upside down and erased all the hard work and left. I have been through break ups before and a few were serious relationships and it was easy to step away, detach and move on. In summary, she wasn’t there for me emotionally. Our world revolved around her needs and activities, add symptoms and warning signs were screaming get out fast and communication was all but null. Can someone please shake me out of this zombie like state of mind and explain to me what is happening? I just want to break free of it all but I am haunted by her ghost that just won’t leave.
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