Couples With One ADHD Partner
How to deal with dual perspectives?
My ADHD spouse will over-react to situations and people can get hurt via outbursts of anger or overly strong reactions. However, because of very little self-awareness, she can be cheery the next moment while those affected remain stunned. When this happens to me, it takes me a while to recover. When there are big blow ups, it can take me days to recover. Meanwhile she has no clue as to why I’m still wounded.
I’m learning that ADHD lives in the “now,” and so cannot access past experience in the moment, nor has the capacity to understand what future consequences will follow. So similar incidents occur over and over as a result. Yes, this is my experience.
I’ve learned that ADHD has a Now perspective while non-ADHD perceives past, now and future consequences. I’ve learned to let go of how this affects others, but when it happens to me I can feel depressed.
What do you do to cope with this dual perspective situation? Does this even make sense?
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