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Parents of ADHD Teens and Young Adults

How to handle driving and the maturity question

My son is 16 1/2.. has all requirements for his drivers license.. I have been putting off getting the actual license.. My son seems to be a decent driver ( a bit over confident in my opinion) and feels he has made great strides in his maturity.. I agree, he has, but with all the reading I have been doing, it seems the general consensus is most with ADHD are 2-3 years younger than chronological age with maturity.. When i think of some of his behaviors, it makes sense.. I m not sure how to explain my hesitancy to my son about his license.. Has anyone talked to their teen about lack of maturity?? I am sure it will be followed with a response of.. I am mature.. I am not sure how to handle this.. I have printed out the contract for ADHD and driving, as well as articles on driving found on this site.. Do I give them to him to read? Not sure what I am asking .. lol.. Just wondering how others have dealt with the issue of driving.. thank you in advance.. Hope this makes sense..

Replies

All of our children have to drive an entire year (thru all 4 seasons here) before they are allowed to drive by themselves…..our rule.  We also do not allow them to do the behind the wheel part of their driver’s ed until we have finished at least 40 hours with them ourselves (state law here that students clock 40 hours with another adult).  Years ago a local columnist did a column pointing out to parents everything they should teach their kids before letting the drive alone—-major interstates, different times of day, etc——and suggested a minimum number of hours for each thing.  We sort of followed that.  Our major rule is no driving by themselves until they are half way thru their senior year in high school…they did not like it, but understood it was our car and our insurance money.  Our ADHD kid is actually quiet cautious (he’s big on what is right and wrong) but he did not really start driving much by himself until last year.  Follow your gut….don’t rush this.  It’s exciting for them, but they don’t understand the whole picture.  Oh and our other big rule….NO riders EVER and they can’t ride with other teenage drivers.  Good Luck

Posted by greyhairedmom on Nov 21, 2013 at 4:31am

Thank You for the response.. Yes we have 50 hours here before they can take the behind the wheel and get their license.. He has that now.. He has driven different times of day, on the interstate and such.. I will make a list of rules, I like some of yours mentioned…

Posted by sunnydays on Nov 22, 2013 at 4:28am

I have read two books which I consider excellent resources for preparation for parents of the ADHD driver:  ADHD Driving: a Guide for Parents of Teens with ADHD by Marlene Snyder AND Crash Proof Your Kids by Timothy Smith.  Both have helped me put together a plan for my son’s driving education based on his individual risks & needs.  The statistics related to teen accident & death rates were not too surprising, but quite alarming for the ADHD teen driver.  My son’s education and practice driving will far exceed the state minimum requirement, for his safety and the safety of other drivers.  Hope this info is a bit of help.

Posted by Kimnmi on Nov 22, 2013 at 10:42am

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