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Tourette's Syndrome and ADHD

Hubby&Son;

Hi, first time writing, not sure how to do this, but here it goes….I’m a mom of a 20 year old Developmental Disabled young man.  I have to do most things for him, he is very low functioning, which is my main focus for most of my day/life.  I have an older son 23 with ADD and a hubby who I believe also has ADD. My trouble is that when I have tried in the past to set boundaries, or consequences for his actions, punishments, rewards whatever, my hubby always messes it up.  Now at this point hes 23, and refuses to believe he has ADD (as his dad always says) he knows, i can’t force theraphy, meds, punishments, etc he does what he wants.  I forced him to get a job, which he has been able to keep, but his hygiene is horrible he sleepys all day until work time 5-10pm, his dad drives him there and picks him up, because I refused to, since he wont learn to drive (no point he says).  I believe if he wont get help, that as hard as it will be he should move out. My hubby then says I don’t care, and we fight.  I say he needs to be responsible because he is 23!  There are times I have actually started to look for apartments for me& my younger son, but money wise it can’t be done.  I feel like I just have to give up, but that’s not the kind of person I am.  But this is making me sick, i now suffer from chronic mirgraines, which I need a dark room and sleep. My younger son can not be left alone, so I could work when he is in school, but when he is sick, he ends up being home for days.  Now he is graduating and will be home most of the time, until he gets into a program.  I have tried family counseling, individual, etc.  I feel like it is my husband and son against me.  If the money was there I know for a fact I would be out.  But it is not.  I don’t want to give up but how do you convince them what is happening? My hubby won’t even listen to the doctors.  Just venting…..thanks!

Replies

This is a challenge in many ways. It would be very wise to take care of yourself, even in a few small ways, and to concentrate your efforts and attention mostly on those things you can control.

Posted by John Tucker, PhD, ACG. ADHD Coach on May 14, 2014 at 8:46pm

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