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ADHD in Women

Hypersensitive and Recovering Perfectionist


Hi - I have read and listened to as much as quite humanly possible on these topics and how having ADHD makes it more pronounced.  That all being said, I really just want to get out of this funk - I am good for a few months and maybe it is a season change thing but I am miserable.  I have a great life and people who love and support me - yet, I feel like doing nothing - nothing seems to make me feel good enough even though I know I should not be so hard on myself. 

I recently started a business on my own and have had initial success - however, when I don’t get things just right, or worst yet I get a critique, I am back to being the emotional 22 year old who use to get the feedback at work to not take things personal - a life time of trying to be perfect, achieve and get recognition haunts me and I am working on it every day €¦

I guess I am just looking for moral support from the community today - just feeling like I am standing on quicksand today €¦

Replies

I also have a great life with lots of love and support from my son and husband (everyone else thinks adhd means I’m slow or it doesn’t exit, lazy) but my life is great, I’m so very fortunate.. But I feel like you do most of the time, I do notice though around the second week of August I start to get sad or bummed out feeling and my doctor had told me its a seasonal disorder (yay another disorder) its called S.A.D. I used to take Wellbutrin, name brand only and it did help for the first winter then of course I needed to up my meds so I just weaned myself off of them cuz they can cause seizures and I have enough problems already without bouncing around with my tongue hanging out and chocking (friend has terrible seizures when he doesn’t take his seizure meds) so Im not making fun of anyone here. So it may be the winter blues your having.

Take a good vitamin and make sure you get your Omegas (flax seeds awesome) protein (garden of life) and magnesium, theres more too you should take.  I live in RI where its rainy and moist with no sun in summer and the winters are cold rainy, snowy, wet with not much sun either so Im going to move to a warmer climate. Keep your house nice and bright that helps also.  Vitamin D is great plus try and not eat to much meat its bad for depression or the blues like I get. Good luck

Posted by BexIssues on Nov 19, 2013 at 9:23pm

Bat_PA. Boy oh boy can i relate to your whole post. I was recently diagnosed with adult ADHD and soon aftermy boyfriend kicked me out of his house.  We had been living together for just shy a year. I am very much in love with him, but he is not. Every dayi struggle with telling myself it’s not just me…i did not do anything wrong, its not my fault. 

We still see each other and i stay over most weekends. But more times than not we argue and its cause he wont let me explain what i meant, moved something or did something, that had nothing to do with him, and gets Pissed at me. Then its again my fault we are arguing.

We are our own worse enemy and the most critical of ourselves.  Easier said than done, and i need someone to tell me that too.

So i can see we both need support. Im here for the same

My best to you and im sure we’ll bump into each other again.

Posted by harleynana on Nov 19, 2013 at 9:45pm

Hope you don’t take this wrong but the above description boarders more on emotional abuse than ADD/HD issues.  If anyone in your life is treating you badly, well half the blame is on you as you are allowing it. ADHDers have enough to deal with personally without someone around us tearing us down or picking on you. If they cared about you they would welcome education on dealing with any issues.  If they can’t be loving / supportive / and respectful you don’t need them in your life. Sometimes you have to prune the branches in order for healthy relationships to grow.

Posted by snowinflorida on Nov 20, 2013 at 12:55am

Seasonal Affective Disorder is an unfortunate name for a very real problem.  I have had it for most of my life.  I was raised in New York and it would start just before the Fall season and did not end until well into Spring.  At the time, there was nothing much that could be done about it.

Now there is treatment and things that you can do about it.  See a doctor to confirm the diagnosis, of course, but if it is confirmed, you can buy a special light box that will definitely help.  I also found that taking Vitamin D was helpful and still is.

I live in the desert where the sun shines nearly every day, but I still notice the slide toward the “blahs” in the Fall, so I have my windows open and my desk is near a window where the sun can come into the room.  Fresh air helps, but the sunshine is what is needed.  I spend a minimum of an hour int he sun every day with the sun shining on my face and without sun glasses.  “Your brain needs the sunshine.” is what my doctor said.

The advice from the other writers regarding the people around you is right on target.  We tend to get used to having people point out our errors.  We also seem to forget that nobody is perfect and that perfection cannot be sustained forever.  Errors are made.  Mistakes happen.  Acknowledge those things, take corrective action for that situation, and keep moving forward.

I hope that some of that is helpful.

Posted by Dianne in the Desert on Nov 20, 2013 at 4:22am

Loved what you all said.
However, just want to comment on the fact that flax seed is said to not have the fat Omegas that fish oil has. Can’t recall why exactly. Just a tip.

Posted by DJCR on Dec 20, 2013 at 10:44pm

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