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I am New at this


I had AD/HD when I was a kid and my parent didn’t think I had any more at 14 and till this day they still denied it. So 2 weak ago I got test and doc said I still have. So I am piss at my parent about denied I have Ad/Hd. I am 41 one now and I was living like this for 27 year now. So I tell them or not?
  I was also wondering or tip on How to deal with AD/HD in my Adult years?

Replies

I do understand your feelings about your parents not acknowledging or perhaps not being proactive about it growing up.

I will share I am 32 years old and was just diagnosed last year with ADHD. I suspected I had it ten years ago and when I mentioned it to my parents they said well just focus and laughed! So I ignored it as well until I couldn’t keep a job.

In therapy I am learning how to have total acceptance and love my parents however dysfunctional they may be as parents they did the best they could. They don’t understand this. But they don’t have to. My suggestion is at our age don’t discuss anything with your parents regarding your ADHD. It’s none of their business. Talk to people about it who can understand. Some of my friends say you shouldn’t take the medicine it’s bad for your body. But it’s bad to let ADHD go without being treated and ruin jobs, friendships and your safety. 

If you want to have a quick conversation about ADHD with your parents and get it off your chest Let it be productive and have empathy. Let them know that ADHD runs in families.

Despite their denial of the fact you are dealing with ADHD it’s a mute point to point the finger now.  Just like all my issues are now mine not my dad’s, or my mom’s.

Please feel free to share what tools you have been using since you have been aware of now having ADHD and ask any questions you have about medicines and the effects.

Tina

Posted by Twhitt on Nov 14, 2013 at 4:48am

I am 52 years old and was not diagnosed until I was 41 years old. I can make suggestions so that you can follow your treatment protocol and tell you what mistakes I have made over the last 11 years that are costing me dearly nowadays. My ADHD was managed and so was my life. Then I lost my health insurance coverage and abruptly stopped my medications and got into a lifestyle two years ago I am still trying to undo

Posted by epp0331 on Nov 14, 2013 at 4:53am

Some great tools I have learned is use a lot of alarms and timers for day to day appointments and activities. If you have money to spend hire a professional organizer or ADHD coach who can help you organize emails and papers etc. Allow extra time for all appointments (1 hour) Even if it means you are early, bring a book. Sleep 8 hours or it gets really bad! Vigorous exercise really helps cut down on symptoms as well. Meditation helps the brain focus And medicines work but you have to find the right one for you but they are only half the battle. Training is the other half to it as well!

Posted by Twhitt on Nov 14, 2013 at 5:00am

EPPo331-Do you have insurance now? I still am looking for a job and I am having trouble holding on to my insurance at this point. What is the best way to go?  What medications are you taking to manage? Do you skip weekends or take meds everyday? Tina

Posted by Twhitt on Nov 14, 2013 at 5:05am

I diagnosed myself at 35, but got an official diagnosis at 49 when I nearly lost my job.  I started a low dose of generic ritalin which helps with the focus, but doesn’t solve any problems.  Tina has some great advice.  Own your own problems.  Get help when you need it.  Educate yourself about ADHD.  Quite a few of us have something else as well.  If something doesn’t fit ADHD, look into what might be causing you to feel that way.

I read an interesting article the other day.  It said that the hyperactivity when it “goes away”, really just goes inside, moving from the physical to the mental side of self.  I’m not sure about that, but it did make me wonder.

Posted by whizinc on Nov 14, 2013 at 5:45am

Well said Whiz!!

Posted by Twhitt on Nov 14, 2013 at 5:57am

Thank you all. There a lot of help information you guys. I will keep Posting.

Posted by jamespfluger on Nov 14, 2013 at 2:18pm

And yes Tina I agree with you . I not telling my parent and I will work on that too.

Posted by jamespfluger on Nov 14, 2013 at 2:20pm

I will be covered through the MA Network Health Plan come December 1, 2013. I did check for ADHD Psychiatrists, but none are in the Network Health Plan. I am surprised being in the Boston metro area. What I really need to do is find a PCP that is not afraid to treat ADHD. The bottom line is if I want to mount an effective job search and start working toward my 2014 goals I may need to pay for part of my treatment myself

Posted by epp0331 on Nov 14, 2013 at 4:49pm

Consider PCPs who are family practice oriented - they will have children on their caseload and may have more familiarity with ADHD than an internal medicine doc.

Posted by Juggler on Nov 15, 2013 at 4:22pm

epp031 thank you and I would love to here how got back on the horse. Health in surance suck these days

Posted by jamespfluger on Nov 16, 2013 at 4:10am

But they don’t have to. My suggestion is at our age don’t discuss anything with your parents regarding your ADHD. It’s none of their business. Talk to people about it who can understand. Some of my friends say you shouldn’t take the medicine it’s bad for your body. But it’s bad to let ADHD go without being treated and ruin jobs, friendships and your safety.
 

Thank you and I going do that and you are right it none of there business. But my wife is going be hard,because she have a hard head. She now I have ADHD and unerstand. But she think I am Fuck up.

Please feel free to share what tools you have been using since you have been aware of now having ADHD and ask any questions you have about medicines and the effects.

 

I will. But now I waiting to she a Doctor to start my treatment. I don’t see till Marc. But for now I going read up on AdHD

Posted by jamespfluger on Nov 16, 2013 at 4:19am

Please feel free to share what tools you have been using since you have been aware of now having ADHD and ask any questions you have about medicines and the effects. - See more at: http://connect.additudemag.com/groups/topic/8221/#sthash.dCW0nWpT.dpuf

Thank you and I will try all these thimg

Posted by jamespfluger on Nov 16, 2013 at 4:20am

Thank you all for great info and yes I will keep you post.
Tina, Yes I have insurance. Try Media care or call you state rep

Posted by jamespfluger on Nov 16, 2013 at 4:26am

=)  Thx.  You’ll do great James. My ex thought i was a F’up too, lol but your wife is still with you so she definitely cares! At least now you know why you may get in arguments or frustrated, interrupt etc. (just guessing based on ADHD symptoms) . As far as waiting till March it may be helpful to mention I found a Dr. in my state that refills my perscriptions monthly after our initial meeting last year. .. if that helps. my current insurance is 178 a month and they pay all of $10 for perscriptions with BCBS Savings plan….

Great thank you- I will check out Media care and look into OBAMA care as well.  Tina

Posted by Twhitt on Nov 16, 2013 at 5:18am

At least now you know why you may get in arguments or frustrated, interrupt etc. (just guessing based on ADHD symptoms) . - See more at: http://connect.additudemag.com/groups/topic/8221/#reply-45831
Tina, Yea you right, That one the main reason I got test. I need to learn how to keep calm and clue. If anyone have suggestion I will love to here them. 
  With OBAMA care, Just be careful There are allot in there and high price so please reacher it very care full.
Jim

Posted by jamespfluger on Nov 16, 2013 at 2:20pm

You have to realize that when you were first diagnosed, the medical profession believed that ADHD went away at puberty.  It was only in the late 1990’s that the medical profession re-assessed and Adult Attention Hyperactivity Syndrome was acknowledged.  It is now believed that fully 3% of the adult population has this thing

Try not to blame your parents for pulling your care when you were 14. Everyone’s care was pulled when we hit those years. It was the prevailing wisdom at the time.  I too asked the same questions as you are asking now… Why did my parents stop care?  My doc was a guy by the name of Leon Charish - my records were still available and they confirmed what I suspected - ‘Subject entering puberty, taper ritilin to zero’  or some such thing was written on my chart.  I suspect yours would have similar notations.  It was not my parents fault!  They were following doctor’s orders.

Could your life have been better with care?  Who knows. Hypothetical arguments go nowhere.  Do know there is no cure for this thing or even a treatment that fully addresses symptoms.  In fact, many spend considerable time attempting to find the right meds at the right dose.  Many swear by changes in diet and regular exercise.  As important are re-evaluating career goals, job prospects and our social lives. This thing impacts all aspects of our lives. Sleep, work, our relationships - -  nothing is untouched.  Plenty of good information here on such issues.

Bookmark this site!  There is much GREAT information here from doctors and others who are leaders in the field.  It is also a wonderful community.  You are NOT alone. 

Hang tough and visit often.  Will look forward to hearing from you.

Posted by LakeLife on Nov 16, 2013 at 4:29pm

LakeLife thank you so much for that information, it explains a lot to me. Very informative. I always thought the doctors just took kids off of meds when they finished high school, now I understand why my nephews doctor took him off of Ritalin as a teenager.  WOW what a relief, thanks again.

Posted by BexIssues on Nov 16, 2013 at 7:04pm

Lakelife thank you so mush on your post. I great insight on this.

Posted by jamespfluger on Nov 16, 2013 at 8:35pm

I tell people this is a great community… It is.  Thanks Bex..You always have such nice things to say.  And Mitzi..  Thanks for remembering that I was, and remain, interested in neurofeedback.  You provide hope that this thing can be decisively beaten.  I look forward to the day it happens for me as it has you.

James.. welcome aboard.  I hope this site provides as much support for you has it has for me.

Best,

Bruce

Posted by LakeLife on Nov 17, 2013 at 4:09am

Bruce Thank you.
  I told my parents and it went well. They new I had all this time. But that mass up. I wish they told me

Posted by jamespfluger on Nov 17, 2013 at 4:19am

Someone asked on 11/14 if I have insurance. My MA Network Health Plan does not go into effect until 12/1/2013. So I will have my insurance.
I have asked if anyone could recommend an ADHD physician(s).
Today is 11/17 and would like to choose my Primary Care Physician and make an appointment with a Physician who treats Adult ADHD. Then I can get things going on 12/1/2013
Someone asked me what was the best way to go? Well, if you live in Massachusetts make sure you get signed up with a health plan and that your make sure your existing health insurance is all up to date
I recall “What About Bob”. No matter how overwhelming with ADHD one should always take “baby

Posted by epp0331 on Nov 17, 2013 at 12:19pm

My ADHD indirectly played a major role in being discharged from my last two jobs, and others over the years

Posted by epp0331 on Nov 17, 2013 at 12:20pm

I had a job for 12 years and got fired for my AD/HD then i got 2 month hold a job and got fired for the same thing. 
  So How can stay in a job if AD/HD INTERFERER with are job?

Posted by jamespfluger on Nov 17, 2013 at 4:14pm

Hi, James and others in the “my parents just ignored it” situation.  My parents ignored my situation and so did I until I was 50 years of age.  I am no 67 and still living very well with my ADD.  I do call it “My Add” because no two people are exactly the same and each of us needs to find their own way to living a successful life with ADD.

I didn’t waste my time telling my parents asbout it because by the time I confirmed the ADD, they were well past the point of trying to raise me.  They did a terrific job when I consider that I was not the easiest kid in the world to deal with in the first place.

What I did over the years was look for the kind of tools I could use to make things better, to keep me on track at work, and to reduce the stress the seems to attach itself to us.  Medications were tried and I no longer take them because I did find my way through to relative success.

I use alarms on my phone, a personal planner, any number of systems to deal with paperwork and such.  My system may not be what others use, but it works for me.  Isn’t that what counts?

Your anger is pointed toward your parents right now, but the fact is that the responsibility for learning how to live well with this is on you.  You are now an adult.  It is time to research the proble, identify your strengths and weaknesses; try out some of the ideas and tools that others have tried or suggested; after working with the methods and tools, discard what does not work and find what does work for you.

As far as work and careers, many ADDers find that they have been educated and trained for specific types of employment for which they are ill-suited.  With some research many jobs can be taken with simple modifications that most employers won’t object to because they cost the employer nothing.  A lateral change in jobs with certain aspects changed may be just the thing to stay with an employer and being more content and at peace with your work.

Posted by Dianne in the Desert on Nov 17, 2013 at 6:48pm

I am a parent of a son who is ADHD/Gifted with a Learning Disability of dysgraphia (this one is undiagnosed by doctor).  In my parenting, I’ve found a lot of barriers to understanding what’s out there for people with ADHD.  I come from a small rural town where people don’t acknowledge this disability and/or agree how to help people cope with it.  So, even with a diagnoses it is hard to get answers for those who really need it. 

You need a complete assessment to know exactly what your condition is because most of the time ADHD doesn’t always come alone, that’s why its considered one of the Alphabet conditions (i.e., LD, ADHD, OCD, ODD and so on).  I would recommend understanding what your limitations are and work toward finding solutions to solve those (i.e., have trouble getting up in the morning, insomnia, bad hand writing, lack of organizational skills) there is assistant technology out there to help.  Also, the CHADD organization has a lot of information concerning ADHD and is a great resource for information.  Even when you learn you have this it takes years to understand and get the right kind of help.  Also, don’t let the nay sayers get to you, it can set you back on your treatment.

Good luck and God bless…

Posted by dmueller74 on Nov 19, 2013 at 6:23pm

I didn’t waste my time telling my parents asbout it because by the time I confirmed the ADD, they were well past the point of trying to raise me.  They did a terrific job when I consider that I was not the easiest kid in the world to deal with in the first place. I did,t wast no time to tell them and I agree about they raise me. But I was upset with of feeling the less and not want it feel when i was kid and still do now. I think it going take me awhile to Sept who they are

Posted by jamespfluger on Nov 27, 2013 at 5:00pm

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