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Just Diagnosed With ADHD (Adults)
I feel cursed. Does anyone else?
I am 49, and found out just how much damage this disorder, that has gone undiagnosed for all these years, has caused in my life. I knew what ADD/ADHD was. I didn’t know it could do such damage though. I can’t keep a job, because I can’t tolerate certain types of people at all and end up leaving the job, always thinking I needed to learn how to accept these people that I couldn’t tolerate. I can’t finish any projects that I start - even commissioned ones, even when I want to. Since I have such trouble getting along with people, I have tried for almost 30 years to “change myself” to work on those things that make me a difficult person to be around. I could never do it - now we all know why. I have been in counseling since I was ten - not one doctor, teacher or counselor ever suggested that my problem wasn’t really me - but my dysfunctional brain. I don’t view this as any kind of good thing. I honestly do feel cursed. I have lost a marriage from this, I’m in debt to my eyeballs from this, I have barely any friends from this and sadly, the only med out of five to work so far, also makes me suicidal. I HATE that I have this and that my life is like this. Does anyone else feel this way? I can’t be the only one.