ADHD Teens and Young Adults
I just need to know that I'm not alone!
Hi, my name is Gareth. I am 23 years old and live in Southampton UK.
I was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) just over a year ago.
At first the diagnosis was a godsend. Finally my family and I had a name to put to the problems that had been haunting me my entire life!
At the time I was out of work and the medication I was prescribed, Concerta XL, made a difference but it was not immediately obvious as to how much. I fortunately I was able to get a job soon after which allowed me to better gauge the effectiveness of the medication.
Believing the dosage was correct I continued on with my job and even moved out of my parent’s house to live with two of my best friends on our own. Unfortunately this appears to have been a grave mistake. While time keeping and organisation was always my main issues and the main areas that the ADD affected, I didn’t realise quite how badly it did affect it.
Whether due to my own poor sleeping habits, a side effect of the medication that I am taking, or other factors, I found myself being late for work repeatedly. Unfortunately this was not just by 5-10 minutes but also once up to an hour and a half late from sleeping through my alarm! At this point I would like to point out that I do not have just an ordinary alarm clock but one that has a vibrating attachment to shake the bed. It is normally very effective and I have absolutely no idea how I managed to sleep through it.
Unfortunately, despite my best efforts, I have now lost my job due to the lateness. Perhaps the most infuriating factor of this is that not only did I enjoy the job, the company and the people that I worked with, but I was good at my job too! Senior managers and clients often complimented me on my performance. I was set for a good career with a company that I truly enjoyed working for, and I ruined it because I couldn’t get out of bed!
The main thing that I wanted from this post is to know that I am not alone in this. I know that there are others that suffer from ADD/ADHD however I simply cannot see anything positive that I have achieved in my life! I look back at my school years and see the failures that I stacked upon myself, the grades that I could have achieved, the path my life should have taken, the careers that I have ruined and lost because of it, the relationships (both social and romantic) that I have missed or ruined because of the way that it makes me feel about myself and how I cannot function like a “normal” person. Everything that I touch seems to turn to disaster around me, and over the stupidest most infinitesimally small reasons.
At times I feel like there is no point in continuing with anything, that it would be better to end it simply to save myself and the others that I care about, the heartache that I know I am causing. Fortunately I do have a very supportive family and they are doing everything and anything that they can to help me get through this. A new view on the effects and the seriousness of my ADD also helps to ensure that I will force myself to get better at the things that I need to focus on.
However I need to know does anyone else live like this? My every decision seems to be a monumental battle with myself, to the point where I have to scream at myself in my head to finish a task as simple as unloading the dishwasher. Getting out of bed, putting a load of washing on, cooking a meal, cleaning my room you name it, is a war that I have to wage upon myself daily. I am sick of screaming at myself every waking moment of every day to try and do something that shouldn’t take a moment’s thought.
If you have read this far I thank you sincerely and eagerly welcome any thoughts, stories, anecdotes, advise or even kind words to know that I am not alone in this. I simply can’t take living like this.
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